Marianne Talbot with her mother Fatcat is on the way out. I took her to the vet to get her claws trimmed. But I could see from the vet's sombre face that the news wasn't good.
Fatcat has lost half her body weight since she last saw the vet. I didn't think this was anything more sinister than mum's not being there to feed her. I was wrong. She has a thyroid problem. It is causing her to lose weight, and making her heart work overtime. Poor old Fatcat's heart is about to give up. She also has a 'mass' in her tummy. It's a toss up to see which gets her first.
Oh dear.
The vet suggested a blood test. There is a 'cheap' one (69.90), or an expensive one (I didn't ask). Either would confirm the thyroid condition, perhaps tell us something about the mass and enable the vet to decide on the best treatment. I decided to go for the cheap one. But as I had forgotten my diary I couldn't book her in.
Then, on the way home, I thought 'do I really want to prolong Fatcat's life?' There's no doubt Oedipus would say 'no'. And I hate the way they constantly scrap with each other.
I have decided, therefore, to let nature take its course. The vet confirms that Fatcat is still a happy cat, and I will do what I can to keep her happy until the end. But I shan't postpone the end.
I do wonder, though, if I am doing the right thing by mum.
Mum, I'm sure, would have done anything - short of letting Fatcat suffer - to keep her alive. Fatcat's insurance policy testifies to that: it exists because mum once spent 900 (900!!) to set a leg that Fatcat broke leaping out of a tree. Horrified I got Fatcat insured. Naturally we've not used the policy since.
I could use it now.
But since mum has been in the home she hasn't even mentioned Fatcat. I like to kid myself she enjoys my talking to her about Fatcat. But actually she just likes me to talk to her. Anyway, my doing this doesn't depend on the state of Fatcat's health.
When mum's best friend died I told mum about it. It was very moving. I swear mum took it in. Her actual words were 'thank you for telling me'. It was probably the most lucid conversation mum and I have had since she went into the home.
But I don't see I have anything like the same obligation to tell mum about Fatcat. If Fatcat is in mum's memory at all, I shall let her stay there as a young and faithful companion.