Healthy living Blog
Carer Diary
April 2, 2008: paper knickers
Marianne Talbot, who cares for her mother with Alzheimer's disease, discusses a delicate but necessary subject
It is time to discuss a delicate subject. The matter of knickers. For the last three years mum and I have managed successfully with paper knickers. These look and feel just like ordinary knickers. But they can be disposed of without fuss.
I have no idea what the disposal of them is doing to our carbon footprint. I can’t say I care very much. Anyway every time I dispose of a pair I re-use a plastic bag. But the paper knicker solution is no longer working.
The trouble with the knicker problem is that it is inextricably linked to the dignity problem.
You imagine how you’d feel if a middle aged woman whom you think you know, but you wouldn’t swear to it, followed you into the loo and told you to take your trousers off.
Like mum you’d probably say ‘But I don’t want my trousers off!’ or ‘why should I take my trousers off?’. Then, blow you down if she doesn’t want your knickers off too!
It would not help to be told that you need to be washed and changed. Outrageous! Who does she think you are: a two year old?!?!
Poor mum gets subjected to this indignity at least twice a day. It’s amazing that she ever does it without complaint.
Sometimes, though, she completely refuses. Then I wait until she is sitting on the loo and try to pull them off.
This results in an unseemly tug of war. Sometimes I find myself on my back on the floor with her trousers in my hands. Other times mum wins and ends up waving her still trousered legs in the air.
This doesn’t leave either of us feeling very dignified.
Lately though mum has needed to be changed more often. The people at Willows have mentioned it. They have also, on a couple of occasions, send her home wearing a sort of padded thong. Not quite a thong because the stringy bits are at the sides. But it looks almost as uncomfortable.
At our recent care review it was suggested that I might like to discuss the problem with the district nurse. As I was seeing the doctor, however, I mentioned it to him. He talked about our getting some knickers with a sort of ‘trapdoor’.
Don’t you just love these technical terms?
Trapdoor knickers would enable mum to be changed without her having to take the rest of her clothes off. That sounds good. So I checked out the catalogue. But I could only find the thongs, plus various garments that probably make sense once you know how to use them.
Goodness, though, I am extremely glad mum is not male!
More from Marianne
- March 25: mum's comforting rituals
- March 19: interviewing care assistants
- March 14: small mercies
- March 5: mum's angelic choir
More on care
- Essential tips for carers
- Care homes in an ideal world
- Chat to other carers at Saga Zone
- Questions for care homes
Funding care
- Saga Long Term Care Funding Advice
- Long-term care - your questions answered
- How to get a carer's allowance
- Advice on nursing homes and free care
Useful websites
Information on this site is for interest only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. You should consult your own doctor about any specific health concerns.
