Bad mood rising

By Judith Wills , Friday 21 September 2012

Judith wonders why her willpower just evaporated, leaving her full of guilt and regrets
Judith WillsJudith Wills

I am feeling poisonous today. There is nothing guaranteed to put me in a bad mood more than having spent a whole day eating way more than I intended.

Yesterday was supposed to be a 'fast' day as we're still in theory doing the moderate version of the alternate day diet as outlined in the blog a few weeks ago – eating next to nothing two days a week and more or less normally the rest. Hasn't been a problem at all until now.

Had normal fast day breakfast – yogurt, tiny bit of fruit, cup of tea. Started work in the office. But by 11 am I felt ravenous and could think of nothing except having a snack. This hasn't happened before, normally I don't even get a small hunger pang.

Regular readers may remember that one of the work things I do is review foods and so I sometimes get sent parcels of 'free food' by PRs hoping I'll give them a plug. Fine when it's something healthy, or something so awful that I just throw it away with no regrets. But yesterday, I found a box of Belvita Breakfast Biscuits lurking in the larder, having gone there with the intention of opening a packet of dark rye Ryvitas and taking just the one.

Five minutes later, I had eaten two whole packs of Yogurt and Strawberry biscuits. One pack is intended as a breakfast for people on the go. Two packs contains over 400 calories. They are so sweet, but once you begin...

So that was the end of the fast day and not only that, I'd stuffed myself full of simple carbs and sugar. It put me in a really foul mood and I don't feel any better today as I have to try to do the fast today instead, and then again tomorrow as our 'days' are Tuesdays and Thursdays. I guess I could have just eaten nothing for the rest of the day, and still come in at only 600 calories for the day (I'm supposed to be on 500), but I hadn't the heart – the day continued in a similar dispiriting willpower-free vein.

I'd intended to be especially vigilant this week as on Sunday we have my stepson and family coming to stay for most of the week. Then a week this Friday it's my husband's 80th birthday and we are having a family celebration at a nice hotel in Gloucestershire - and there is no way I intend to watch everyone else quaffing and munching and stint myself.

I have no idea why it all went wrong yesterday unless it was that very fact – I knew I was supposed to be super 'good' - that did for me. I've always said – if you try too hard, it will go horribly wrong. And there's your proof.

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