Relationships Blog
Dating Diary
Please yourself
One of the many bonuses of becoming a mature woman is that you no longer have to give a damn about what anyone else thinks: as long as you're not hurting anyone else or frightening the horses you can do more or less what you want, writes Linda Franklin
This is particularly so when it comes to dating. You get to a stage where you realise this truly is the real show and not just the dress rehearsal and that it is now far too expensive to live your life by other people's expectations and it's time to sort your own dream. That might be different to what you always thought it was - but the bonus of getting past fifty is that this time in now all about you.
So what do you really want if you're not having to take into account mummy and daddy's wishes, give a damn about what your brother and his wife thinks, or even care what your friends make of your choices of how you run your life?
Ian said in his profile that he was looking for his soul mate. On a dream first date he would whisk the woman off to Paris for champagne and seafood and bitter chocolate tart, and walk around the city getting to know how she ticked. He had a successful company designing and building upmarket conservatories and he had two sons of thirteen and fifteen and was a keen amateur footballer. His photograph showed a tall, fit man who was totally bald, but in a sexy, Bruce Willis way.
He didn't take me off to Paris - he picked me up in his rather wonderful metallic blue XJ6 with leather interior and with a personalised number plate and took me to a local wine bar.
'I thought it would be dinner for two at Maxim's,' I said, as he sat down with a bottle of Ozzy Chardonnay and a bowl of peanuts.
'What?'
'Your profile,' I said. 'Says your ideal date would be in Paris - champagne, oysters - the whole bit...'
'Oh that!' he laughed.
'And that you're seriously looking for your soul mate?'
He grinned broadly and wickedly and I have to confess I felt a bit of a flutter. 'Oh that! I just say what I think they want to hear...'
'So this isn't a search for a soul mate?'
'Is that a problem?'
'Not at all - in fact I'm not a big fan of those seeking their better halves.'
'The thing is,' he said, pouring a generous glass of wine and for us both, 'As I've gone in this dating game I realise I'm not looking to settle down at the minute...'
His voice had a slight twang of barrow boy, and his mouth was full and sensual. I watched as he drank his wine and dark hairs curled out from under the beautifully ironed silk shirt and the hands were well kept and tanned. The watch was a Rolex. He assessed me shrewdly from over the rim of the glass.
'No I don't want to settle down right now,' he said as he put his glass down. 'I've got my business to run and I'm building my own house in the country and I have my boys and I play a lot of football...'
'So what are you looking for on the dating site then?'
'Sex,' he said simply.
'Just that?'
'I'm very good at it.' he said. 'It's one of my hobbies you might say.'
'Well, you certainly look as if you're a man who knows his way around a bed,' I said. 'Do you get much practice in then?'
'Well I've got about six women I see on a regular basis,' he smiled.
'Your harem?'
'I never have to phone them,' he said, as if it were a testimonial to his prowess. 'They always phone me when they want...' He had very blue, very laughing eyes, slightly crinkled from the sun.
'And what have you got to give that's so special?'
'Well - I can show you better than I can tell you....'
I just laughed.
