Relationships Blog
Dating Diary
June 20, 2008: on the sunny side of the street
This week Linda Franklin is wined and dined by Mr Wonderful...
Martin had booked a table at English's for lunch. Lobster and Sancerre in the sunshine with a handsome, amusing man and high end buskers entertaining us as we ate, and lots of people coming and going up the little lane by the side of the pub and along East Street: the tourist season was starting and everyone was out to enjoy Brighton and its magical light reflected in that great mirror of a sea at the end of the road. If I were lucky, I might see the writer Julie Burchill, who's my hero and a local to boot.
'So, what do you do when you're not dating and telling the whole world about it?' He topped up my glass with a very cool, crisp Sancerre.
'Well, now my two sons are getting a older and off my hands a bit more, I'm doing an MA in Creative Writing at Sussex,' I said. 'I was going to do it before my husband left - so I've had to put it off for a while because I had to put all my time and energy into the boys as they're both dyslexic and needed a lot of extra help.'
'And what do you hope to get out of it?' When he smiled his eyes crinkled in a very appealing way. And there was just interest, not condescension, in the question.
I thought: yes - I definitely could...
I said: 'Oh it's keeping me on track writing my novel because I want to get the most out of the input from the others - and the tutors give great advise on where you're stuck or going wrong - it's changed things round entirely.'
He actually looked interested in me and what I was doing. Most men I tell I'm writing a novel say they've got a book inside them as well... So I opened up a bit more: 'It's not easy for women who have given up their lives looking after children to get back doing something interesting. Even if they were pretty high powered before, they're way down the ladder when they have to start again - and it's really hard. That's why you see so many well-educated women doing teaching support or behind a checkout till.
'Yeah - I never thought about that,' said Martin. 'When Estella died, I was earning enough to pay for a full-time nanny - she saved my life.'
'That's not an option for many divorced women - money-wise and emotion-wise. They're much less free in that way than men.'
'Women are left - as usual - to do it all?'
'Exactly! That's what we got rather than 'having it all'!' I said. 'But I've been writing another book as well - non-fiction, more like an extended piece of journalism - about my own divorce and how I coped and what happened and why and how it all turned out. It's discursive and chatty and looks at other marriages and divorcees as well - and their experiences - and it explores what you can learn from such a life-changing experience. And how actually you can be very happy indeed after divorce. Much happier than people realise - divorcees have bad PR because everyone sees them as broke and sad and rejected and a bit desperate; but in fact they often have more exciting lives than the long time married and bored. You have to learn to do it your way - even if that means going back to uni at 54 and learning to find the way of life that suits you best - and even if it's on less money. I haven't finished the book yet, but I'm getting there.'
'Maybe you could call it How to be Happy after Divorce,' he said.
'Maybe I could.' I said
'Have you got an agent?'
'Not yet - I'll have to start looking.'
I suddenly felt very happy in fact. Here was a man who not only had everything going for him, but he seemed genuinely interested in me.
I watched him as he finished his wine: his lips were enticingly full and his hands smooth and clean. 'What would you like to do this afternoon, Linda?'
And he looked me straight in the eye - and there was a definite question in them.
