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Dating Diary

March 19, 2008: don't leave your charm at home

Linda Franklin

This week Linda Franklin walks away from a less-than-bubbly date

'Apparently Bill's ex-girlfriend got her dates wrong and the baby wasn't due last month - it's due this week according to the scan! But to date there's been no news,' I was on the phone to gaymate Ewan.

'Got her dates wrong?' He said. 'Could that mean she got her man wrong as well - she does seem to be a little bit forgetful...'

'Yes, apparently so - seems like it could be either Bill's baby or her ex's - looks like she's a girl who likes a bit of overlap with her lovers...'

'Yes, but she's not the only one,' pointed out Ewan. 'Bill said he'd left his partner and their sons to be on his own - that would make him the only hetty bloke I've ever known to do that - or was it just a bit of PR? I personally don't think he left to go it alone and that's why he's so upset now - he's lost out all ways.'

'You're probably right,' I said. 'But I'm not going to go quizzing him. Poor bloke has enough on his plate. He's on red alert to be there at the birth now - she's invited him, the other possible father and her own mum and dad: could be quite a humdinger of a gathering...'

'Would you mind if Bill turned out to be the father and he set up with her?'

'Yes,' I said. 'I would.'

'Thought so.'

Bill had told me all this over a glass of wine in Browns Bar, the night before. I did know what had happened but hadn't wanted to tell Ewan - he can be a bit judgemental at times about men and children and the messiness and dilemmas that go with all that. He's never going to have to face those issues.

'Do you want it to be your baby?' I'd asked Bill.

'Oh yes. Otherwise what was the point of it all?'

'What do you mean, exactly?'

'What was the point of leaving Emma, my ex? I caused all that misery to her and the boys but I somehow justified it by thinking I was doing it to set up with Chantal - I'd fallen for her head over heels. I know I was selfish and I don't expect you to admire me for it - especially with your history - but I'm just a selfish, stupid man and that's what I did. And now it's all gone wrong...'

'But you think it could go right if you are the father after all?'

'Well, I'd love it to be so and want more than anything to be able to set up a happy family with her and a new baby - but I'm not that much of a fool, despite being quite a big one to judge from how things have gone so far. I know that whether I happen to be the father or not doesn't really alter the fact she was with her ex at the same time as me - and she still loves him, but not me.'

And he looked so crestfallen - and so gorgeous actually - that I couldn't help thinking what a fool she was. Why is love so inconvenient?

Some guy had invited me for a drink at The Grand early one evening and it's nice to have a glass of Champagne looking out to sea. He'd been some highflying stockbroker sort, not bad looking from his picture and had taken early retirement but then his wife died.. He already had a bottle of Champagne in an ice bucket and poured me a glass as soon as I appeared.

The Brownie points he got for that got struck off as soon as he began talking. 'What do you think of the website then?' He interrogated me. 'Just a load of women desperate to be married from what I can make out.'

'I don't know about that - I've met some very interesting people and had a lot of fun with it...'

He scowled at me: 'Not my idea of fun...'

'And neither is this mine,' I said. I put my glass firmly on the table. 'Look, darling - rule number one when you meet up with someone is don't leave your charm at home.'

And - without making any excuses at all - I left.

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