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Oh baby!
A new survey, launched by Practical Parenting magazine in association with Dr Miriam Stoppard, aims to discover just how much parenting has changed since today’s grandparents raised their own children, writes Jane Yettram
If you have young grandchildren, chances are you’ll have noticed that some things just seem to be done differently these days. From the safest way to put your baby to sleep through to when to wean him onto solid foods, official advice on what’s best for babies has changed dramatically over the generations, with direct consequences for the way parents care for their little ones.
Preferences for routine, breast or bottle feeding and which age to potty train have gone in and out of fashion. And mums and dads’ attitudes have changed too, with an increasing number of dads now keen to be present at the birth of their children.
Parenting and child care expert Dr Miriam Stoppard says, “Bringing up baby has changed enormously since I had my children and, now that we have a generation of grandparents of whom 70% are involved in childcare of their grandchildren, there’s plenty of room for disagreement between generations.”
To find out just how much views on baby care have changed over our lifetimes, Dr Miriam Stoppard has launched a groundbreaking survey of parents and grandparents in association with Practical Parenting magazine. They want to hear from all generations - please click here to fill out the survey.
Having raised their babies over three generations, Eileen Manning, 76, her daughter Sue Manship, 49, and Sue’s daughter Katy Turner, 26 – herself mum to Brittany, 8, and Louis, 1 – have had experiences of parenting that are typical of many mums:
“In the 1950s, you just got on with it”
Eileen, great-grandmother, says: “I gave birth to Sue at home with my husband, Albert, waiting downstairs. Then it was back to normal; in the 1950s, you just got on with it.
“Women stayed at home then, and I did everything – Albert never changed a nappy. For baby care, I just followed my instincts. Mums now have so much information that they worry and miss out on the fun of having a baby.
“There were no disposable nappies – we used terries (boiled in a copper pan to clean them), a muslin liner and plastic pants. Sue was potty trained at 10 months.
“I kept to a routine. My children had to fit in, especially as Albert worked shifts. Sue was put in the garden in her pram for fresh air every day – I’m sure it helped her to sleep. We had no TV and toys were simple – like dried peas in a treacle tin to shake. But I’d never swap my experience. We had the best time!”
“We didn’t worry about cot death”
Sue, grandmother, says: “When I had Katy and her brother Alex in the 1980s, the health visitor’s advice was to stick to a routine. But I didn’t, I’m not that sort of person. And I breastfed my kids, though most people bottlefed at that point.
“I worked a little, but I wasn’t really a career person then and I did have time to get to know my baby. Disposable nappies were just coming in but were so leaky I mostly used terries. My husband left that to me, though he did play with the kids.
“There wasn’t the choice of baby clothes that there is now – especially not for boys. I bought two-tone velour babygros, which sound awful but were nice at the time!
“One thing we didn’t worry about was cot death – the advice was to put your baby to sleep on her front.
“I’m glad I was a mum in the 1980s. Now, advice seems to change weekly. There’s too much pressure now to have perfect kids and be a perfect mother.”
“I’ve had so much help from my husband”
Katy, mother, says: “When I had Brittany, I just went with the flow, but with Louis I wanted a routine to fit around Brittany’s school times.
“Like my mum and grandma, I breastfed, but very much on demand. Unlike them, I put my babies to sleep on their backs – the advice is different now due to cot death. And I just couldn’t have left my babies out in the garden in the pram – I wouldn’t have been able to take my eyes off them!
“Baby clothes are definitely better now and although I did intend to use reusable nappies, I went for the convenience of disposables. Best of all, I’ve had so much help from my husband. He does nappies, bathing, feeding and everything.”
Are you a parent or a grandparent?
Practical Parenting magazine wants to hear from you about your experiences of bringing up your first baby. Did you opt for breast or bottle? Did you have a strict routine, or were you more relaxed? And did your partner lend a hand, or did you do it all yourself? Please click here to share your experiences.
