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The Potting Shed

Decoding the guidebooks

Gardening guidebooks are densely planted with euphemisms, says Christopher Holliday, so a thorough translation may be in order before you set off for a visit

The Owners

Gardeners are a breed apart. Hard-working, enormously proud of their achievements, and often with good reason, they don’t like to be seen as artistically challenged, or lazy. Descriptions of gardens can be wide of the mark, and it’s important to read between the lines.

Peoples' names are important too, so watch out for these. Double-barrelled ones always inspire confidence. Who would wish to argue with the Molesworth-St Aubyn family from Pencarrow in Cornwall?

'The garden is continually changing and developing': few gardeners like to be seen resting on their laurels, but this creates an impression of frenetic activity; plants being moved hither and thither on an annual basis, the hose-pipe forever pressed into service for laying out more island beds. Always plenty of new plants in pots waiting to be interred.

'...gradually evolving...': more cautious: there may be some underlying tension here. Implies that one or both of the owners are running out of steam. Garden will never be finished. Come again in five years.

Or 'evolving, with some wild areas...' which means either that the garden has evolved and some areas have gone back to Nature. Implies that if garden is genuinely evolving, there is little hope of some areas being conquered. Make sure you don’t take their weed seeds back home on your clothes.

'more experimental than artistic': owners have little aesthetic sense. Wayward, unconventional planting. Be warned.

'...immensely stylish...': topiary, monochrome colour schemes, Svelte owners with matching co-ordinated pedigree dogs. No gnomes. No children. Classic cars in triple garage. Wisteria-clad house to die for. No false modesty.

'The sculpture is varied and often thought-provoking': it’s a mish-mash, unrelated to its setting. Don’t take small or teenage children, they are likely to get the giggles.

'designed by the owner, (retired head gardener...)': sounds promising, but beware of being caught in an Ancient Mariner-like grip, as your ear is bent with a blow-by-blow account of the last horticultural half-century.

It’s a relief to come across the odd refreshing piece of blunt honesty with garden owners happy to call a spade a spade: 'pool where the farm effluent tank used to be...' or are under no illusions as to the concentration span of their audience: ‘TV for Wimbledon/World Cup fans available.’

The House and Buildings

The house name and its description can set the scene and the tone for the garden visit

'Old' is a highly sought after adjective suitable for adding to Bakery, Barn, Manor, Mill, Stables, Thatch. Naturally these names are at the bottom of the league.

You’re more likely to find something more upmarket at the Old Rectory, Old Priory and Old Vicarage - the combination of the antique and religious is always dependable.

Some house names simply intrigue – 'Peevish Corner' in Oxfordshire, excites curiosity and demands to be seen. 'Imposing castellated house (not open)' is obviously a force to be reckoned with.

Or there can be the odd teaser at the end of a garden description, thrown in for good measure: 'George ll mansion with magnificent plasterwork and decorations, incl rooms designed by Robert Adam. Not open to the public.' Translation: 'you’re there and we’re here, but do grub around in the garden'.

The problem is there are an awful lot of them so you need to research the entry thoroughly before dashing off to visit. When used in conjunction with 'Walled Garden' or 'Orchard' you have a house-name made in Heaven. ‘New’ appears far less frequently in garden directories; It might just be one step away from nouveau-riche.

Finally, in the garden it is important to refer to at least one man-made feature – anyone can have an arbour but a folly or preferably a gazebo, is something to be prized, while grottoes and hermitages are high in the stakes of one-upmanship. Greenhouses are only worth mentioning if they are 'Restored' and should never be younger than Edwardian.

Happy visiting.

This article was created: 23 March 2007.
This article was last edited: 26 June 2007.

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