_{Don Berry seeks to spare his blushes with a little more mastery of German}

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Learn German in three months

If you had three months to learn a language how far would you get?

Would you be able to discuss the finer points of the war in Iraq or would you still be stuck at the stage where you can order a beer, say good morning and that’s about it?

We asked four writers to see how far they could get in the time limit and here is Don Berry's reports. Click the links on the left to find out how Bernice Davison, Pat Wheare and Paul Humphreys got on.

Ich bin almost ein Berliner

It was when I found myself standing stark naked in a public swimming pool in Berlin, surrounded by puzzled swimsuit-clad German families, that I resolved I needed to learn the language.

It was the sign at the entrance to the pool explaining what dress – or undress – was appropriate for different days of the week that had fooled me.

Actually 'resolved' is too decisive a word: in fact I did little more than buy a phrase book and skim through it every time I went on another business trip to Berlin.

One autumn I was more diligent and signed up for lessons at an adult education centre. This helped but I soon relapsed into lazy ways for the usual reason: the Germans spoke much better English than I did German.

Eventually I decided to have one more go. I particularly wanted a course that had plenty of real-life dialogue on CDs so that I could learn to listen as well as speak.

First I sampled the Oxford University Press version from my local library. This has a course book and four CDs and is good value at £23.99.

The book is well structured but the main text (presumably set when only tapes were available) does not indicate which CD track number you need for a specific exercise. You have to turn from your exercise to a list belatedly printed inside the book’s front cover.

So I tried a BBC version, DeutschPlus, which also has a course book and four CDs. Each exercise includes the vital text-to-track-number-links. It is more expensive - £39.99 – but it has proved an excellent purchase.

The course is designed for adult beginners and, if you master the 80-odd hours of instruction, it apparently takes you to the equivalent of a foundation GCSE.

The book has clearly signposted exercises and quizzes to check your progress. Essential grammar is introduced almost imperceptibly as it is needed. There is even a recipe (for reibekuchen - potato rosti) which proved quite tasty).

At the back of the book are answers to the exercises and quizzes, transcripts of the dialogues you hear on the CDs, some basic formal grammar and some useful vocabulary.

I found the audio transcripts particularly helpful. Many of the dialogues are recorded live in the street. They crack on at a normal conversational pace and include some typical German idioms.

On first listening I was frequently left baffled. Then I read the transcript and tried listening again. Slowly, more recognisable words emerged through the mist.

I also learned some idioms: “I squeeze for you the thumbs” (literal translation) means “I keep my fingers crossed for you”. (I’m not sure which is the odder phrase). I was also pleased to discover that “toi, toi, toi” is not a kung-fu cry but simply means “good luck”.

There are a couple of minor irritations for me in the course book: an over-complicated graphic that purports to tell you “How to use this course” and a dauntingly detailed “Menu for the course”. But you can simply skip these.

Generally the course is easy to follow and covers a lot of ground. But you do have to concentrate and to repeat exercises to get the best out of it.

With Teutonic thoroughness I ploughed through the whole course in three months in the hope that enough would stick to make it worthwhile.

I had an extra charming way of testing my progress. A petite, silver-haired German lady who comes to our local coffee café agreed to listen to my stumbling efforts every now and again.

For a while we got little further than “How are you? – Good - How are you?” But slowly I tried more ambitious constructions such as: “I haven’t seen you for a few weeks because we have been on holiday” – or, as German word-order has it, “I have you not for a few weeks seen, because we on holiday been have”.

The big test, though, will come on my next trip to Berlin. Will I dare to venture beyond “ein Bier, bitte”? I will try but I know I still have a long way to go. And I will certainly take my swimming trunks.

Written by Don Berry

This article was created: 23 August 2006.
This article was last edited: 7 November 2006.

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