Love and marriage: Gill and Norman's story
Gill Ford was 53 when a mutual friend brought her together with 66-year-old widower Norman MacKenzie in 1987. “I thought to have a relationship without getting married would be a bit tacky,” she says She had already decided (“I can practically point to the paving stone in Eastbourne I was standing on when I made up my mind”) that at last she had met her man. Having devoted her life to the health service, becoming Deputy Chief Medical Officer in 1977, she was seconded to the hospice movement at the time. “Hospices are all about feelings, which definitely had its effect. If I'd still been at the Department of Health I don't know that we would have married because I was so wrapped up in my work.” Norman, an academic and author, was retired when he met Gill. “I was travelling so much that if we hadn't married our relationship would have drifted away or become just an agreeable occasional thing.” When they first married, Norman sold his house in Lewes and moved into Gill's Dulwich home, where he improved the kitchen and transformed the garden. They solved the problem of combining their possessions (“we were fairly specific about wedding presents; for instance we were badly in need of good towels,”) by lining the shelves of the garage with things they no longer wanted and inviting everyone who came to the house to help themselves. Because Gill was out at work all day Norman said he would do the cooking. “I thought that would last six weeks but it lasted six years,” says Gill. Now that she is retired and the couple are living back in Lewes, Norman cooks lunch and Gill cooks supper. Their other responsibilities dovetail neatly: Norman shops, Gill does the bills. Janetta, Norman's older daughter, was happy from the start and became a real friend. Sadly, she died five years ago, since when her two children, now 12 and 13, have spent their holidays with the family. “They think Gill walks on water,” says Norman. “It really is lovely and has made up a great deal for not having my own children,” says Gill. Julia, the younger of Norman's two daughters, was 31 when they met and slightly disapproving; her mother had been dead just a year. But gradually and cautiously she was welcoming, says Gill. “And then a really nice thing happened; she let it be known that she didn't want me to hand the telephone straight to Norman when she rang up. She actually wanted to talk to me.” The big dayGill Ford spent £270 on a floaty cream dress which she wore with a little cream hat: “I'd never spent so much on an outfit before.” As a Companion of the Bath, Gill, who is a devout Christian, was entitled to marry in the Henry VII chapel of Westminster Abbey. Their reception was held in Church House and the size of the room dictated that they could invite only 120 people – not an easy task when Gill has 25 first cousins. Written by Serena Allott
This article was created: 14 July 2006.
This article was last edited: 14 December 2006.
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