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Living apart together: can't live with or without you
Several people say they realised, after decades of marriage, that living separately might be the only way to save their relationship
Betty King, 57, said she became so difficult when she was menopausal that her husband of 30 years, Philip, moved into the flat above their shop. “I was shocked when he said he wanted to do it, but it was never our intention to separate and by and large it works very well.”
Val Fry and her husband couldn't agree on a house – or even an area – to move to when the time came to “downsize”, so they now live 12 miles apart. “At the time I think both of us thought it might be the beginning of the end of our marriage but we feel we are now happier than ever, a devoted couple and the envy of our friends and family.”
Almost every couple said this. Although Anneliese has had people say “If you really loved one another you would live together” (“I think that's rubbish,” she says), most of her friends longed to emulate them.
“They envy me being able to shut my door, paint my toenails or whatever, to keep that little bit of mystique. I think they envy me the freedom to get through the mundane part of the week just as I wish.”
Couples say children are relieved that Mum or Dad have someone in their lives who doesn't pose a threat to their inheritance.
Donald King says, “If we both sold our houses and moved into one, our children might start asking questions. Second marriages can cause rifts in families, I've seen it happen with others and I wouldn't want to risk it.”
He and his partner Ann go Dutch on most things; whether or not other LATs do this depends on each couple's circumstances but most seem to pay their own way and keep their finances separate. Written by Serena Allott
This article was created: 13 July 2006.
This article was last edited: 11 December 2006.
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