Five ways to shake those first-date butterflies

27 May 2015

The prospect of a first date can make anyone nervous. Here are five first date tips to help you shake those butterflies for good.



Whether you’ve been out of the dating game for a while or you’re a seasoned dater, the prospect of a first date can make anyone nervous.

The key is not to panic. Nerves are perfectly normal and you’re most definitely not alone. Here are five first date tips to help you shake those first-date butterflies.

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1. Know where you’re going

It can be unnerving, showing up somewhere unfamiliar to meet someone new for the first time. But it will help calm those butterflies if you know where you’re going: How will you get there? What’s appropriate to wear? Is there parking nearby? Prepare yourself and you’ll arrive feeling fab instead of flustered.

2. Get yourself into a good mood

How you get ready can set the tone for the rest of the evening so if you’re not already feeling great, work yourself into a good mood before you leave. Leave yourself plenty of time to get ready, plan what you’re going to wear and make sure it’s cleaned and ironed well in advance. Listen to your favourite upbeat music, have a glass of wine (but only one!) and remind yourself that you’re a confident, accomplished and interesting person with lots to offer.

3. Do some exercise

Try and get your blood pumping on the day of your first date by doing some exercise or other physical activity. As well as giving you more energy, it will also release endorphins to help you relax and feel more confident by the time you meet.

4. Finish what you started

Didn’t finish the vacuuming or the washing up? Forgot to file that report you were working on? All these things that can play on our minds and make us feel guilty when we’re out and supposed to be having fun. If your head’s in the clouds you might also come across as aloof, which could make your date assume you’re bored or just not interested. Either put your problems aside for later, or finish your tasks before you leave. Either way, make yourself available.

5. Remind yourself who you’re about to meet

One of the biggest causes of butterflies before a date with someone we’ve met online is the worry over whether they’ll like us. We can worry about this so much, in fact, that we sometimes forget about who we’re actually meeting. Take some time to read back through your conversations. Remind yourself where they’ve said they work, what they do, what they enjoy. This way you’ll arrive prepared and with a little bit of confidence, the butterflies will probably fly away.

Want more first date advice? Brush up on your first date etiquette with our ultimate guide.

For more information and advice about dating over the age of 50, check out our guide to the facts about dating in later life.

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The opinions expressed are those of the author and are not held by Saga unless specifically stated.

The material is for general information only and does not constitute investment, tax, legal, medical or other form of advice. You should not rely on this information to make (or refrain from making) any decisions. Always obtain independent, professional advice for your own particular situation.