Fostering: Gordon and June’s family
While some people start fostering during their working lives, others take it on as a job in retirement. Gordon Avery began when he was 63 and his wife, June Taylor-Avery, was 64 Both had children from previous marriages, the youngest of whom is now 39. Gordon was in the Royal Navy before he began to foster in 2001.
“My wife is a natural carer, but for me the initial motive wasn’t altruistic. I’d been retired three years before I was eligible for my pension and earning some money was a necessity,” he says.
They were rejected by the local authority (“we could have asked why but we didn’t, I suspect they saw us as a bit long in the tooth”) before applying to the charity NCH (formerly National Children’s Homes) to become foster carers for children on remand.
This scheme, which operates in Wessex, is designed to keep 10- to 17-year-olds out of detention centres; and NCH pays its carers – two of whom live in France and one of whom is in a wheelchair – £360 per young offender per week.
Before being accepted on to the scheme Gordon and his wife faced rigorous interviews and home visits and also a medical which is repeated each year.
Inviting someone into your home whom you know has been charged with arson, robbery, shoplifting, assault, rape or attempted murder takes some nerve.
“I was very apprehensive initially,” says Gordon, who has had 17 placements ranging from one night (“he jumped out of the window and ran away, he had a history of absconding”) to three months.
“But most of them tend to behave themselves. One boy managed to access my wife’s credit and debit cards, and she has had some jewellery stolen, but unless you catch them with the items it can be very hard to prove.”
In addition to the usual responsibilities, Gordon or June must support their charges through the court process and ensure they fulfil any supervision or attendance orders.
“It can be frustrating; say the boy hasn’t stuck to his curfew and you have to wait up even though you are tired and want to go to bed. But it’s no more frustrating than parenting your own children.
The big difference is that instead of lecturing them as parents do, you offer advice. That’s because you are unencumbered by aspirations for them. All you want is to keep them from re-offending before they reach the magistrates’ court.” Research shows that less than 25 per cent re-offend while in remand foster care, as against 58 per cent in local authority care.
“The children can be very awkward,” says June. “And although we are told they need firm boundaries we have no way of enforcing them.” Gordon – whose gentle, unhurried manner lulls one into a feeling of calm – says a placid nature is essential for the job, but he is realistic about the rewards it brings.
“These young people have been hardened by life. They feel they’ve had a bad deal and they don’t show gratitude, or not at the time. Some do later.
“The first boy we had came back about four weeks ago and said, ‘I wanted to tell you that I haven’t offended since I left you. You were like a father and mother to me and I’ll never forget you." In his understated way, Gordon says that he has some good laughs with the boys but tries not to allow himself the luxury of becoming too attached to them.
This article was created: 13 July 2006.
This article was last edited: 14 December 2006.
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