Dilemma: gay daughter
Over the past few months I have come to realise that my daughter’s “best friend”, who often stays with us when she does, is in fact her partner.
I was thrown by this and haven’t yet been able to say anything to my daughter about it, though I realise that I have to accept what she does with her life.
The problem is whether I ought to tell my husband. He is fond of all our children and proud of them – we have four – but is very traditional in many ways; he has occasionally referred to “poofters”, for example, though we
tease him when he does.
Katharine Whitehorn's advice
A tricky one, this: you hate to keep secrets from your husband, and certainly when it’s a question of “Don’t tell Daddy!” and a small child, you wouldn’t hesitate to tell unless you had promised not to.
But the secrets of older children are different – and maybe your daughter hasn’t brought the matter up with you because she knows you would worry about telling her father.
I think you should leave it to her – and continue to treat her partner as just a friend, unless and until your daughter tells you otherwise.
Read our tips for building a relationship with an adult child.
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