Dilemma: unruly grandchildren
I have two grandchildren who
spend the day with me
quite often and occasionally
stay overnight.
I love them
and I think they like me, but
they are treated very freely
at home – for example, if they don’t like
the food, they not only aren’t
made to finish it up, but quite
often offered something else.
They seem to have to be
told six times to do anything
and bedtime is usually a
battle.
I don’t know how much
I should try to make them
behave better, but it does
sometimes wear me down!
Katharine Whitehorn's advice
You can’t change the way
they’re being brought up; but
you can lay down a few
ground rules.
Obviously you
cook them the food you hope
they’ll like, but if they won’t
eat it, just let them leave it
and don’t offer anything else.
Similarly with bedtimes: you
can say “Here we go to bed at
nine,” or whatever it is, firmly
turn off the light.
Children
do adapt to the idea of Gran’s
rules, of one home being
different from another –
indeed, it’s a useful lesson
for them to learn.
And if
something really annoys you,
like chewing gum or shouting,
just say it’s not to be done
around you and that’s that.
Read our tips for handling spoilt grandchildren
Play fun, free online games, including crosswords, sudokus and codewords, at our new website Exceptional.
Our readers say...
We also asked our Facebook followers for their advice...
"All my grandchildren know, my house, my rules. They usually eat everything they are given and come back for more. Sweets are a rare treat, but they do have them. Bedtime, "you go to bed to go to sleep and not to mess about" I am really lucky when I here the nightmare stories of some of our friends grandchildren's behaviour."
"I was always a bit hurt when my Dad said he preferred to have my three girls without parents. Now I understand how, on your own you build a relationship with them. When no parent, and no vying for adult attention to come to them, it's so much easier. Oh dear have I just dropped myself into more childminding!! C'est la vie."
"You are in charge, and they need to know that. I've got 14 grandchildren, everyone is as good as gold, don't ever have any bad behaviour."
"Nannie's house, nannie's rules, if you don't want your dinner then you can't be hungry, but you must have your drink, bedtime is time to recharge our batteries, night night sleep tight. Always works a treat."
"Your home, your rules. They will eventually learn that you mean what you say. Never easy, but if you want to keep them coming over, you mustn't wear yourself out. Best of luck."
"I rarely have to have a one-way conversation to my grandbabies. Five grandbabies and just two one-way conversations."
"Mine have always been good - well-trained by their parents!"
Follow us on Facebook to take part in more daily discussions
Subscribe today for just £34.95 for 12 issues...