Email etiquette

By Neil Davey

Alphabet H Has the art of a beautifully-crafted letter gone the way of Betamax and the Bubblecar? Neil Davey takes a wry look at modern mass miscommunication
Man with laptopMan with laptop

When letters were the only method of communication, much care and attention was taken. Great poetry was contained therein. Messages of love were often so beautiful that many have been preserved for posterity. Great ideas were exchanged. Rules were obeyed.

And now we have email. Great YouTube clips are contained therein. Messages of love are so graphic they'll have you before a disciplinary hearing before you can reboot. Great chain-letters are forwarded. Rules don't appear to even exist.

At school, we were all taught the basics of letter writing. How to structure them, how to address people - all the little rules that kept a sense of order to proceedings. Somehow, though, a whole new technology has sprung up and etiquette is struggling to catch up. Perhaps it's time we laid down a few ground rules.

They don't even have to be extensive. A good place to start would be DON'T SHOUT! Your keyboard has something called 'Caps Lock'. Make sure it's off, otherwise you'll constantly come across as the world's angriest correspondent.

On the subject of angry correspondents, part of the email issue is its instant delivery. Someone or something's annoyed you? Then complain. A couple of years ago, that would involve finding a pen, a piece of paper and a stamp. By the time you actually sat down to raise the issue, you'd probably have calmed down a little. You might even have second thoughts whether the problem was even worth mentioning. If you did, you were perhaps constructive and relaxed and followed certain rules regarding diplomacy.

Now though, you can get typing while your temples are still throbbing, which frequently leads to "Keyboard Tourette's", the use of language that you'd never dream of using face-to-face. Or, indeed, put in a letter. Yet, because you can click 'send' while the blood's still racing, people do. It's almost acceptable to hit people in this manner. But ask yourself, what would you respond to more? A calmly-worded expression of dissatisfaction? Or a tirade of profanity that would burn Bernard Manning's eyebrows off? Here's a simple suggestion, then: when writing an angry email, delete the address. Then add it at the end. You'd be amazed how often that gives you time to cool off.

The other extreme though is the jokey approach! And the overuse of exclamation marks!!! This - like writing in txt spk - will: a) make you look like an illiterate teenager; and b) make people want to kill you. They will be justified. Nobody, except a labrador puppy or a CBBC presenter is that excitable. Does the same rule apply to question marks??? Or combinations of the two in vaguely dodgy comments?!?! Yes. It does.

Humour, basically, does not come across in emails, so unless your passport says your name is Woody Allen it's probably best left to the professionals. As for sarcasm? Oh yeah, that's also really effective…

Basically, many of the old rules also apply to emails. Keep it concise and polite. Get to the point quickly. Indeed, where possible, get the main point across in the subject box. Re-read the important messages before you send them. And when was the last time you put 'Dear whoever' in an email? Address people by name and you'll be remembered for it. Frankly you won't go far wrong if you just think of an email as a letter - just one that doesn't cost the price of a cup of tea to send and will actually get there on time.

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