Some do’s and don’ts
Do realise that after divorce, and the awful dismay of dismantling your home and sanctuary, you will be shell-shocked and emotionally vulnerable. Give yourself time to recover before venturing onto the dating scene. When you’re ready to meet new people, be wary and do not arrange to meet someone too soon.
Do accept that you need to find your feet again when it comes to dating. Ask yourself what attracts you now. Is kindness more important than good looks? Can you accept a man with children living at home? What about someone with less than you asset-wise?
The trick is to know what you want and don’t be afraid if things don’t work out. A friend gave me some sound words of advice: ‘You don’t need a man as you are independent. If you want a man, that’s different. Find the man you want.’
Find love online with Saga Dating
If you want a woman to cook and housekeep and give you companionship, ideally with some sex, in exchange for a man’s presence in her life, then say so. Or if you want a man to accompany you to places, provide companionship, ideally with occasional sex, and the social status of having a man in your life in exchange for cooking/ housekeeping, just be upfront.
I think often we don’t know that is what we want and we’ve never been encouraged to be that clear about it to ourselves, never mind to another person.
The rough with the smooth…
There are a lot of beards out there, not always flattering.
Friendship is good
Sometimes dates end up as friends, which can be useful in getting another’s point of view and new angles. And support to ride the waves of rejection if necessary!
It worked for us!
I owe my happiness over the past 20 months to Saga Magazine! I lost my wife to cancer after 43 years of marriage, and joined Saga Dating two years later. In my early seventies, I still had lots of life to live, and lots of love to give.
I sought the support of my two daughters and promised I would never put another woman on the same pedestal as their mother.
Compiling a profile was daunting. Blowing one’s trumpet to ‘sell’ oneself does not come easily to most people. It’s a good idea to state what you hope to achieve: some people just like the messaging contact, some are seeking marriage and there are lots of stages in between.
Exchanging several messages on the site is important to start the friendship, then progress to phone calls.
Treat the site and everyone on it with the respect they deserve – it’s a steep learning curve. But it becomes addictive and is far more fascinating than many TV programmes!
Then I met Sandra. We were seeking friendship, having reached the same point in our lives; there was a common bond, an affinity that we had both suffered the same sadness and despair.
We live 60 miles apart but meet often for lunch or family gatherings, and have enjoyed many holidays, from the Lake District to India (below). We are a great support and comfort to one another.
My profile name reflected my active lifestyle – my fondness for downhill skiing! Those of us fortunate enough to be blessed with good health owe it to those who have gone before to make every day count. As the saying goes, there’s no present like the time!
- Downhillerdave and Itsnowornever
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