Dilemma: my grandchildren have no motivation

Jo Brand / 03 January 2018

A reader is concerned by the way her two 20-something grandchildren have no ambition, interests or motivation.

Dilemma: my grandchildren have no motivation

My daughter’s two children are well into their twenties and seem to have no motivation at all.

They have no hobbies, aren’t that interested in a social life and still live at home. Both have quite menial jobs though they went to university.

I worry that they have no ‘get up and go’, and wonder if I can help. My daughter, who is energetic and has a good job, is in despair.

Jo Brand's advice

I can see how your daughter is despairing about these two. I wonder if they’ve had it a little bit too easy? (Yes, I’m aware I sound like Wackford Squeers of Dotheboys Hall.)

How much does your daughter actually do for them? Would their ‘get up and go’ be improved if they got up and went (ie, left home)? This might be difficult to engineer, but they may have no idea how fulfilling an independent life out there in the big wide world could be.

Perhaps grandma – being in a position to give it to them with both barrels and tell it like it is – reading them the riot act would be less damaging than your daughter doing it. You may be a nice person and not want to do this, but someone’s got to put a rocket up them or things will never change.

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