For many of us, the run-up to Christmas can feel less magical and more overwhelming. Between planning meals, hosting family, buying presents and trying to keep everyone happy, festive entertaining can quickly become a source of stress rather than joy.
And while most of us are juggling endless to-do lists, the royal family have more of a relaxed approach, with everyone heading to Sandringham in Norfolk, where they are hosted over the festive period by King Charles, and looked after by staff. It’s usually quite a big affair with all members of the royal family invited, with everyone arriving from 23 December.
But Grant Harrold, Charles’ former butler, insists that royal Christmases aren’t always as formal as people think. He says that there are lots of tips people can learn from them in order to have their own stress-free, but still classy, festivities.
If there is one thing that truly defines royal entertaining, it is preparation. According to Grant, nothing is rushed, nothing is guessed, and there is no last-minute panicking. Long before the first guest arrives, every detail has been carefully considered: who is coming, what they will wear, what they will eat and how the evening will unfold.
And while there will be staff on hand to look after those invited to Sandringham and maybe more demanding guests, he says getting ahead with things will make it easier for anyone hosting.
“Make sure everything is organised,” he advises. “Check what your guests can eat and what they don’t like. Tell them if there’s a dress code – some households are quite formal at Christmas, others are very relaxed. Plan a menu and plan the drinks. And don’t leave it until the last minute, try to do it in advance. Turning up in the wrong outfit or being unable to eat the food is uncomfortable for everyone – and entirely avoidable.
“If you can, make sure the table is laid before the big day as this gives you time to ensure it’s perfect, and it’s not a last-minute rush. At royal events, it’s done days before, especially over Christmas.”
While it feels like there is always pressure to buy the most expensive and elaborate gifts, follow in the footsteps of the royals and buy more thoughtful presents that don’t cost a fortune.
On Christmas Eve, they gather around a specially assembled trestle table for the gift exchange in a ceremony that is a nod to the family’s German heritage. The game sees King Charles hand out “joke” £5 presents in strict order of seniority, which has been a Christmas tradition within the royal household since the 19th century.
“The King hates being given anything extravagant and expensive,” Grant reveals. “He’d be embarrassed if you spent a fortune on him. He’d say, ‘That’s lovely but you really shouldn’t have.’ So, at Christmas, I used to give him books on Victorian gardening or honey-based products because I know how much he loves honey.
“Everyone assumes the royals only shop in the poshest stores, but they go to the same shops that we do. I’m not saying they never go to Harrods but the royals enjoy a bargain.
“And let’s not forget that it’s better to give than to receive – remember to always show appreciation for a gift. If you don’t like it, be prepared to put on an acceptance speech fit for the Academy Awards. Also, remember to take the price tag off the gifts, especially the 99p ones!”
Yes, Christmas Dinner may be the main event of the day, most people look forward to the leftovers buffet that evening (and the following few days!) and the royals are no different.
“For lunch, it’s a served meal – goose, turkey or beef – because the staff are there,” Grant explains. “But then in the evening, they do a buffet. So, the staff get the time off. And the buffet is just bits coming back out again, which shows you nothing goes to waste.
“It’s almost like going to Toby Carvery, isn’t it? They’ve got all the selections put in front of you. A very fancy Toby Carvery. And what’s also nice about the royal family is they get dressed up for those kinds of occasions. You can imagine them having their black tie and things on.”
Hosting everyone can sometimes feel very overwhelming and no doubt there will be a few guests who will get on your nerves. But Grant says make people feel as welcome as possible and don’t complain about any guests to anyone else.
“Good etiquette also means generosity of spirit,” he says. “Avoid complaining about relatives, be patient with family quirks and ensure older guests are comfortable after lunch. If tensions are likely, having a quiet walk or a change of scene can help diffuse them. And if somebody offers to help, always take them up on it.”
If all else fails, just make sure everyone is fed and watered as soon as they arrive and continue throughout their stay.
“Make sure that guests have food and drink straight away – a good host makes sure guests have a drink and a canapé as soon as they arrive and then continue this or let them know that they can help themselves,” Grant says.
“Make sure they’re comfortable. I always suggest looking after the ladies first, which I know is old fashioned but it’s what I like to do. And if they’re staying for a few days, make them feel as relaxed as possible.”
(Hero image credit: Getty Images)
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