4 ways a letter of wishes can get you what you want when you're gone

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Senior old man elderly examining and signing last will and testament

Image credit: Shutterstock/Casper1774 Studio

By Sam Barrett | Published - 26 Jan 2026

Important info

This article is for general guidance only and is not financial or professional advice. Any links are for your own information, and do not constitute any form of recommendation by Saga. You should not solely rely on this information to make any decisions, and consider seeking independent professional advice. All figures and information in this article are correct at the time of publishing, but laws, entitlements, tax treatments and allowances may change in the future.

We all know you need a will. But a will is a blunt instrument. It deals with money and property, but it is terrible at dealing with feelings, small sentimental items, and the “why” behind your decisions.

This is where the letter of wishes comes in. It is an informal, private note to your executors that sits alongside your will. It costs £0 to write, you can update it whenever you like, and it could save your family years of heartache. Here’s how to use this powerful tool to protect your legacy.

What’s on this page?

The possessions hack: Save money on solicitor fees
Stop the “Why did she cut me out?” lawsuit
Funeral wishes: Don’t hide them in the will
Go into detail – and keep your privacy
The “Dos and Don’ts” checklist

1. The possessions hack: Save money on solicitor fees

If you list every single ring, painting, and record collection in your actual will, you have a problem. If you sell the ring or buy a new painting, you have to pay a solicitor to update your will (or add a codicil).

The fix: In your main will, leave all your “personal chattels” (possessions) to your executors. Then, write a letter of wishes listing who gets what.

Paul Baker, associate solicitor at Slater Heelis, says: “You can change your wishes as much as like without the costs associated with making a new will or adding a codicil.”

Stephen Horscroft, partner at Birketts, explains: “It’s not legally binding so they don’t have to do exactly what you say, but it can be a great way to help your executors or trustees understand what you wanted.”

Warning: Be specific. Stephen Horscroft advises: “It’s not enough to say ‘gold ring’, unless you only have one. Provide as much detail as you can: it’s the distribution of these sentimental items that can sometimes cause the most aggro.”

2. Stop the “Why did she cut me out?” lawsuit

Contested wills are on the rise. If you leave your estate unequally (perhaps more to a daughter who cared for you, less to an estranged son), the person who missed out might sue, claiming you were confused or coerced.

A letter of wishes allows you to explain your reasoning in your own voice. This evidence can be crucial in stopping a legal challenge dead in its tracks.

Duncan Mitchell-Innes, partner at TWM Solicitors, warns that silence is expensive: “A reasoned explanation in a letter of wishes could counter claims that you didn’t have mental capacity, were delusional or being pressured into your decision. Legal fees to defend such a challenge could take as much £100,000 out of your estate.”

The golden rule: Keep it factual. Do not use the letter to vent your anger. Paul Baker warns: “Keep the language as positive as you can, focusing on the person who is benefitting. If you think one of your children is ungrateful and idle, it’s a conversation to have with your therapist, not for your will or letter of wishes.”

Miniature elder / old couple stands on a legal document form, depicts preparing to transfer properties to their heirs after death — Image credit: Shutterstock

3. Funeral wishes: Don’t hide them in the will

Your will might not be read until days or weeks after your funeral. If your instructions for “cremation only” or “no black ties” are in there, it might be too late.

A letter of wishes is usually read immediately.

Paul Baker says: “You can put these in your will but there’s more opportunity for detail in a letter of wishes. You could say whether you want a burial or cremation, the type of service you’d like, any music or readings and even the dress code.”

4. Go into detail – and keep your privacy

Once probate is granted, your will becomes a public document. Anyone can download it online for £1.50 and read it – including your neighbours.

A letter of wishes remains private. It is for your executors’ eyes only. This makes it the perfect place for sensitive instructions or personal messages to loved ones. It might be telling a daughter how proud you were of her, or encouraging a grandchild to keep playing the trombone.

Stephen Horscroft says: “I’ve seen heart-warming messages, thank yous and even in-jokes included in letters of wishes. They’re incredibly personal: you can really feel the love.”

You can also include what you’d like for loved ones and even your pets. You might want to specify that money should be distributed to grandkids for their education or travel, or request that your two ginger toms, Geoff and Eric, stay together.

The “Dos and Don’ts” checklist

DO sign and date it. It proves it is your latest wish.
DO store it with your will. Louise Lewis at Freeths advises: “It needs to be in a safe and accessible location, ideally alongside your will.”
DO be specific. “My Rolex watch” is better than “my watch”.
DON’T include cash gifts. Money should be handled in the main will to ensure tax and legal clarity.
DON’T rely on it for big items. As Paul Baker notes: “If you really want your record collection to go to Uncle Bob, put it in your will.” The letter is guidance, not law.