Royal tips for the perfect dinner party – and the one thing you’re doing wrong

As the nights get longer and we start to spend more time inside, it is now the ideal time to have people over for dinner again – and we’ve got the expert tips on how to a host a dinner party fit for royalty.

Grant Harrold – who worked as King Charles’ butler for more than seven years at Highgrove – draws on his experience to offer Saga Magazine readers advice on how to impress your guests with your hosting skills. He insists it doesn’t have to be expensive.

“Of course you’re going to spend money, but it doesn’t need to be silly,” Grant told us at the launch of his new book The Royal Butler at The Rubens at the Palace Hotel. “You can think of things that won’t cost a fortune. Just use common sense.

"And remember doing a dinner party is always going to be cheaper than taking people out for dinner, especially if you’re celebrating something and want nice things.”

Grant’s 5 tips for dinner party success

1. Plan ahead

Although it may sound obvious, Grant says a lot of hosts get stressed because they haven’t left enough time to get it all finished.

“Just make sure everything is organised, including checking what your guests can eat and what they don’t like,” he advises. “Plan a menu and plan the drinks that everyone can have or you can adapt for those with dietary requirements and give yourself enough time.

"Plan from serving time and work backwards so you know what time you need to start prepping. When working for the royals, they were always keen to make sure everybody was catered for and presentation was key. So always make an effort when laying the table.

"Don’t leave it until the last minute, try to do it in advance. This gives you time to ensure it’s perfect, and it’s not a last-minute rush. At royal events, it’s done days before but a more realistic time frame is the afternoon of the dinner party.”

2. Have a dress code

Different hosts have different rules so it’s important to tell your guests how formal you intend on being. Do you want people to dress up in smart clothes or are you happy for them to turn up in their casual attire? Is your house a no-shoes house and you expect guests to remove them at the door, or are you happy for people to wear them inside?

“It’s little things like this that can cause tension at dinner parties so it’s important to eliminate them straight away,” Grant says.

“A host should always let their guests know what they’re expected to wear and the level of formality.

"I’ve seen guests turn up at parties and they’re wearing completely the wrong thing and different to everyone else, which can always be quite awkward. It’s vital to sort those things out in advance of the occasion to ensure everything runs smoothly.

"If it is shoes off, you may want to bring some slippers or make sure you’re wearing socks!

“Obviously at the palace, it would always be formal when having guests over for dinner parties or events but if it was closer friends and family, the dress code would be more relaxed. And like everyone, they like to relax in comfy clothes so aren’t always dressed up in suits and tiaras.”

3. Feed and water guests straight away

While guests won’t be expecting to eat a main meal as soon as they walk through the door, Grant says that they should be offered a canapé or a nibble once they arrive as well as a welcome drink.

“After they have removed their coat – and shoes if that’s your house rule – and they have sat down, make sure they to offer them a drink,” Grant advises. “And if you’re doing canapés, bring them out as soon as everyone arrives.

“If you’re just going straight into the meal, makes sure there are some snacks such as olives, nuts or crisps on the table so people can have a quick pick while they wait for dinner to be served.

"And I’m quite old fashioned but if it’s a mixed dinner party, I always suggest looking after the ladies first – it’s something I’ve always done.”

4. Pick your guests carefully

Hosting a dinner party means you need to be a lot more selective with the guestlist than you would if you were having a party.

First of all, you have limited space as people will be sat around a table so there is a maximum number. And because it’s quite intimate, you need to ensure all the guests will get along.

Grant says, “Make sure you invite a group who will get on and keep the conversation flowing.

"Don’t invite people who are likely to clash, or who have history, but you can invite people with differing opinions if you know they can debate subjects well without it causing an argument.

5. Give an end time

There’s nothing worse if you are expecting an early-ish night after you’ve been hosting than guests who are still there in the early hours of the morning and show no signs of leaving.

“You don’t want guests overstaying their welcome, so on the invitations or message you send out you can include a time for ‘carriages’. This also helps people plan their journey home.”

But if your guests are staying the night, Grant says it’s still important to have an ‘end time’ as well as telling them what time breakfast will be.

“It’s fine to still have a time you want to be in bed for if you have overnight guests but maybe just pre-warn them,” he explains. “And give them a time for breakfast in the morning so they don’t come down too early or too late.

"Also, make sure there is a glass of water by their bed, especially if it’s been quite a boozy dinner.”

And the mistake everyone makes?

“I think the one thing people do wrong is sit couples next to each other,” says Grant.

“I always advise to split them up. It helps keep the conversation flowing, and makes guests talk to other people rather than just stay chatting to their partner all night.”