Sir Michael Palin on learning to live without his wife

Sir Michael Palin is a comedian and actor, but since his hit series Around the World in 80 Days came to our screens in the 1980s, he’s been our national travelling treasure.

Now at 82, his latest volume of diaries, There and Back, has just been released in paperback and he spoke to Saga Magazine about the death of his wife Helen in 2023, how his family helped him through his grief and his latest travels.

The full interview appears in July’s Saga Magazine available on subscription and at selected retailers.

On marking two years since losing his wife Helen

I can see why people say it takes two years or so before your response gradually changes. It becomes less about loss and more about the spirit of that person being around, so that’s very nice. I feel less grief now, and more that I’ve got to keep on doing things, looking after the children we made together.

I talk to myself as if she’s there. I’ll show some spectacular bit of incompetence that I know she would have found funny, then I’ll hear myself saying something in the way she would have said it and I’ll laugh, even though I’m the only one there. Imagining her being there makes me laugh.

Her pictures are everywhere, the chairs we used to sit in, the books she used to read, that sort of thing. They have become reassuring.

Why he didn’t seek bereavement therapy

I get dark days, when you feel a bit down and wonder what you’re going to do on a cold autumn Sunday on your own, but I factor that in. I know I’m going to feel her loss at certain times. The family have been my bereavement counsellors really.

Fortunately, the three children all live quite close. You might see pagodas, volcanoes and waterfalls all round the world, but what’s really important is who comes round for dinner on a Sunday

But he didn’t want to be a burden

I didn’t want to be dependent on the family to come around every day. I don’t cook, unfortunately. There were various areas like that where I thought I might be a bit vulnerable.

But it turns out I’m quite good at being on my own. The other person who guides me through that is actually Helen.

Could he find love again?

We were a unit for so long. You can never begin to replace a relationship which lasted 60 years.

I’m OK living on my own, then I go off to Venezuela or somewhere. I’m not moping.

On being away from home for months on his travels

We had to talk it through. If Helen had gone away for four months, I’d have been very upset and missed her a lot.

But in the end I think she took the view that otherwise I’d have been in the kitchen, getting in the way, frustrated

I can remember ringing from the Himalayas. I wanted to tell her about these extraordinary temples I had seen. All she wanted to know was where the stopcock was because the plumber was coming. Quite right too!

I got a fan letter saying what a noble, honourable person I was. I say in the diary that I told this to Helen when we were about to go to bed. She just raised her eyes heavenwards.