A new grandmother is horrified that her daughter has named her first grandchild Wolf. Our columnist explains why sometimes the best advice is to keep our opinions to ourselves.
My daughter has called her son – my first grandchild – Wolf. I didn’t know what to say when she told me and just changed the subject and asked how she was sleeping.
I’m too embarrassed to tell my friends the name when they ask. Do you think it’s too late to tell my daughter I think she’s made a mistake? How will he ever be taken seriously in life with a name like that?
Dear New Granny, I don’t have the space to list all the magical moments you will be able to experience in the coming years with your grandson. There, of course, will be minor setbacks along the way. For example, not being much taken with the name your daughter and her husband have chosen for your first grandchild.
I appreciate, for you, right now, this is not a minor setback but a catastrophic one. You are too embarrassed to tell your friends your grandson’s name. You think it will blight him for life. You are considering speaking to your daughter about it. Could we press pause for a minute?
You don’t tell me your daughter’s name, but I imagine you and her father took time and great pleasure in choosing it. Well, just suppose your mother had announced she disliked the name very much, thought it would endanger her granddaughter’s future and please could you change it? I think you would have regarded the request as tactless and inappropriate. You would have been perfectly entitled to grumble under your breath. After all, it was your baby not your mother’s. She was not there at the moment of conception!
That aside, let me assure you that in the months and years to come, your grandson will become his name and when he smiles and rushes to put his arms round your neck and kiss you, the only thing you will feel is joy.
There will be other minor setbacks. He will doubtless turn up in T-shirts you hate. He might arrive after his father has taken him for a haircut that makes him look like he is about to tour with the Royal Marines.
He could scream when you ask him to brush his teeth, as if he’s never brushed them before. But through all this, hopefully, it will still be the greatest pleasure that you get to spend time with him.
For in the end, the only rule for us grannies is to keep a smile on our faces and our lips firmly zipped.
If you have a problem for Anne Robinson email her at Ask Annie askannie@saga.co.uk
All emails are treated in confidence.
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