My wife finds babies boring and refuses to be "lumbered with granny duties"
Our agony aunt Anne Robinson has a simple solution for a man unhappy that his wife doesn't want to be a hands-on grandmother.
Our agony aunt Anne Robinson has a simple solution for a man unhappy that his wife doesn't want to be a hands-on grandmother.
Our daughter recently had a baby – the first grandchild for my wife (I have two already, courtesy of the children from my first marriage). My wife has mixed feelings about being a grandmother – she has said to me that she feels too young (she’s 62) and doesn’t want to ‘get stuck doing childcare’ at a time we want to travel.
She’s only just fully retired, whereas I’m ten years older and have been a man of leisure for a while. I think she must have had all that on her mind when we visited our new grandson, because she said quite plainly that she thought babies were boring and that our daughter couldn’t expect any help from her until he was three or four and ‘more interesting’.
This didn’t go down well as you can imagine. In some ways I admire her honesty – surely not everyone loves grandchildren at the baby stage?
Last time I looked it was 2026. I hope, therefore, that women are sufficiently liberated to state their likes or dislikes without fear of being judged and found wanting.
Your wife is 62, recently retired and looking forward to having her freedom and travelling. Your daughter has just had her first baby and when visiting her grandson your wife made it clear she finds babies boring and doesn’t want to be lumbered with granny duties. This apparently didn’t go down too well. I can’t think why.
Your wife is known by your daughter to be straight talking. It’s not as if her mother has transformed into someone different overnight. Was it really such a terrible shock? I fell for my grandchildren the very second I clapped eyes on them. But I have never been one of these women who melts at the sight of a baby and immediately wants to cuddle it. In fact, I never, ever, want to cradle a random baby.
However, show me a litter of puppies even one puppy – or for that matter a random dog and I am on the floor talking to them for as long as they will put up with me. Your wife concedes she will find her grandson more interesting in a few years’ time. Great!
Until then, here’s the good news: you – who have been retired for some time – can take on some of the babysitting and general childcare at your daughter’s home when you’re not travelling.
Problem solved.
(Hero image credit: Emanuel Wiemans)
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