The beloved actress talks grandchildren, bereavement and why she won’t marry again.
Felicity Kendal talks to Saga Magazine ahead of her starring role in the London and UK tour of classic comedy Filumena.
The two days in 1973 and 1987 respectively when I gave birth to my two sons, Charley, by my late first husband Drewe Henley, and Jacob by my second husband Michael Rudman. Charley is 51 now and a visual effects supervisor in film and Jacob is 37 and a barrister.
There’s nothing else that compares to having children. It gives you a kind of tribal understanding of the future because you see your mother, your father, the whole family, going on and on.
When Michael died in March last year [aged 84]. We had been together [on and off] for 40 years – some of it turbulent, some amazing – but also there were the dark days of divorce [between 1990 and 1997] before we got back together again in 1998. Yet we would still go to see each other’s plays even when we were living apart.
He was very funny and lovely, though he could also be very difficult. I was there when he died and it was terribly hard to watch. A combination of things ended his life: a haemorrhage, heart and blood pressure problems, and a fall. It was hard for him since he wanted to be independent.
I think it’s very important to let go and not be maudlin. That’s totally my own personal way: to get on and try to live in as positive a way as I can, even though it may be difficult.
But when I’m faced with a decision about something now, I still ask Michael what I should do; that’s not being spooky, that’s just going into the many memories that will give me the answer to what he would say because I knew him so well.
I try not to hold on to regrets because it’s too late, isn’t it?
But if I had known when I was younger how wonderful grandchildren are, I would have had more children. I have two granddaughters, Elena, 23, and Gea, 21, by Charley, and I also include my sister’s five grandchildren as mine.
Be kind to yourself and other people; it’s an incredibly important part of everyday life.
I think I’ll pass on that one! Michael would point down through the clouds at me like Michelangelo’s God and say, ‘Don’t you dare!’. He would be furious if I married again, though it couldn’t be further from my inclination.
There is no room in my world for someone else – apart from my dog Rufus. And Michael is irreplaceable – in my work, where he was my touchstone, as well as in my personal life. I can’t imagine a human being in the world that could match that.
Yes in a way, but it has lasted because it was so ahead of its time with its environmental theme of self-sufficiency and its cleverly funny and unsentimental dialogue. I’m so proud of it.
I would love to do a TV travelogue, especially about India where I visit family every year. And I want to write more; it’s 26 years since my family memoir White Cargo was published.
My father would be so pleased that I’m still working in the theatre, which he lived and breathed.
The tour of Filumena, starring Felicity Kendal, opens at Theatre Royal Windsor on 4 October.
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