The 'sandwich generation': 5 practical ways to ease the overwhelm
If you are feeling overstretched and juggling too many commitments, our expert has practical advice on how to ease the pressure.
If you are feeling overstretched and juggling too many commitments, our expert has practical advice on how to ease the pressure.
If you’re in your 50s, 60s or 70s and finding yourself pulled in multiple directions, supporting ageing parents whilst juggling children and grandchildren, it’s likely that you are part of the 'sandwich generation'.
There’s a whole generation of people quietly holding everything together.
It’s a lot.
Emotionally, mentally, and physically, the pressure can build until you’re running on fumes. Guilt is common, feeling like you’re not doing enough, not being enough, not coping 'well enough'.
But here’s the truth: you are doing more than most, and it’s OK to feel stretched.
I've been a life coach for almost 20 years and I am seeing more people than ever before in this 'sandwich generation', all struggling to cope.
My clients often talk about the constant need to juggle, the feeling that they cannot drop any ball.
They feel exhausted but also feel needed and struggle to say no as they think they "ought" to be managing. Often the women are menopausal so coping with all the 'joy' that brings.
As I said, it’s a lot!
So, what are some of the things that the 'sandwich generation' are juggling?
This can be our own OR our in-laws, we feel we "should" be available to help, there might not be an alternative option right now and these are some of the things we end up doing:
If they are still at home, you will be:
If they have left home, it’s another whole host of challenges and these can include:
You’re carrying a lot – but you’re not alone.
So many people in this stage of life feel isolated – like they should be coping better or have it all figured out. But the truth is, the load you’re carrying is significant. And you don’t have to keep pushing through without support.
And the good news is you don’t need a total life overhaul – small, intentional shifts can make a big difference.
Here are five practical tips to help you ease the overwhelm and reclaim a little breathing space:
You may not be able to take a full day off, but you can build in moments that offer small pockets of calm.
Whether it’s a quiet cup of tea before anyone wakes up, a 10-minute walk after dinner, or five minutes with your eyes closed and phone off – these micro-moments restore more than you think.
Set a phone alarm labelled "Pause for You" three times a day. Treat it like a meeting you can’t cancel.
Many people in the 'sandwich generation' are carrying mental loads that could be shared or streamlined. From medication schedules to school runs, look for what can be simplified or delegated.
Choose one recurring task this week and either automate it (online food shop, repeat prescription service) or ask for help with it. Let it not be yours alone.
Boundaries don’t mean being selfish – they mean being clear. It’s OK to say no to a favour, push back on a request, or express that your time is limited. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Practise one boundary phrase: “I wish I could, but I’m at capacity right now.” Simple, kind, and clear.
Often, the needs of the person in the middle get lost. Your wellbeing matters too. It’s not indulgent to prioritise your health, your joy, or your space – it’s essential.
Choose one thing this week that’s just for you – reading, walking, phoning a friend – and protect that time like you would for someone you love.
You are not alone, even if it feels that way. Sharing your experience with someone who understands – even briefly – can ease the emotional weight.
Reach out to a friend or group in a similar situation. Or, if that’s not possible, write down how you’re feeling in a journal. Getting it out of your head is powerful.
Recognising the pressure is the first step toward finding some breathing space – and it’s not selfish to want or need that.
With small steps, you can move from barely coping to gently thriving, one practical shift at a time.
Kate Tilston is The Practical Life coach. She has been a life coach for 18 years now and works with clients to help them see the wood for the trees, to feel less overwhelmed and more in control. Her coaching is a very practical style which enables people to move forward with clarity and ease.
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