Five great ways to have better sex

You might be surprised to discover some unusual ways you can make your sex life more pleasurable and exciting.

Image credit: Shutterstock/Sergey Nivens

By Siski Green | Published - 28 May 2024 | Updated - 8 Sep 2025

1. Breathe more deeply

Taking deep breaths not only relaxes you, it also helps get oxygenated blood flowing around your body. You’re far more likely to orgasm as a result.

Tense muscles and feeling stressed aren’t conducive to orgasm, and you need lots of oxygenated blood to reach your vulva if you’re to get fully aroused too.

2. Enjoy a good book

Sharing your sexiest dreams is a great way to get more of what you want in bed and try new things too. But if you can’t think of ideas on your own, you can read parts of an erotic book to each other.

“It can be difficult to express fantasies but by reading it from a book it becomes less embarrassing and can lead to dramatically new ideas of what to do,” says sex therapist Dr Ian Kerner.

Try Anais Nin’s Delta of Venus or for something more modern, you can try Ageless Erotica, by Joan Price or Fifty Shades of Grey, by EL James.

3. Focus on a new sense

If you always have sex with the light on, turn it off. If you always gaze into each others’ eyes, try wearing a blindfold of some kind.

“By changing the way you usually have sex, you’ll become aware of other senses – sight, sound, touch, taste – that can also create intense feelings of arousal,” says Kerner.

“You can try using massage oils to amplify the feeling of touching each other, or even something more adventurous like chocolate-flavoured body paint, for example!”

4. Play games

One of the best ways to get into a sexy mindset is a bit of competitive sport – a game of singles tennis or squash with your partner would be ideal, but it doesn’t need to be as physical as that.

“Challenge your partner to a chess game or cards, whatever you both enjoy, but up the stakes,” says Kerner. “So for example whoever wins gets to enjoy their favourite sex act immediately afterwards.”

5. Slow things down

If you’ve been with your partner for a while you may have discovered a pattern of moves that works really well… but the downside of that is that you avoid doing other moves that may not bring him or her to orgasm so quickly and that leads to a lacklustre sex life.

“You may know that oral sex is the most effective way to get you to orgasm,” says Kerner. “But don’t let that stop you trying stimulating yourself with other body parts and sex toys. While they may not get you to orgasm so quickly, you might find they bring you a different type of orgasm if you give yourself the time to explore.”

Written by: Siski Green

Siski Green is an award-winning journalist specialising in sex and relationships. She has been writing health news and features for Saga magazine for more than ten years, as well as for other consumer magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health and GQ. She is the author of How to blow his mind in bed. She lives in Chile where she leads a healthy life, exercising regularly, and eating lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. The only piece of health advice she ignores is to drink green tea. It's Earl Grey or nothing!

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Five great ways to have better sex

1. Breathe more deeply

2. Enjoy a good book

3. Focus on a new sense

4. Play games

5. Slow things down

Written by: Siski Green

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