Dr Miriam Stoppard offers advice to a husband sliding into depression because he fears that “fat jabs” have turned his wife off him.
My wife has been taking a fat jab and has lost a lot of weight. I’ve always thought she’s gorgeous, but she was suffering in body confidence, which affected our sex life.
Now she looks absolutely amazing and is obviously enjoying dressing in smaller sizes and so on, but she still isn’t in the mood for sex. I’m worried that the fat jabs have killed her sex drive.
I mentioned it to her and she just told me not to worry about it and that it was bound to come back. In the meantime, she doesn’t want to come off the jabs because she’s so happy being thinner.
Part of me wonders if I should be worried it’s something else and that she just doesn’t fancy me. I’m beginning to feel very depressed.
In all honesty, I think there must be quite a lot of people who find themselves, like you, with a partner who’s lost a lot of weight due to using the so-called “fat jabs”. A woman with a slimmed-down man will have to get used to the new him, and a man with a newly contoured woman will also have to get used to someone who looks quite different from how they were.
With the increasing prevalence of fat jabs, more and more people are going to be faced with this situation, and it’s worth giving it a bit of thought. You should understand that your wife is feeling like a new woman, someone she’s probably never been before.
She’s probably also feels proud of the way she looks and of how her hard work has resulted in such an improvement in her appearance, not to mention her health. She may be feeling something akin to being liberated from her past fat self, and that’s a feeling that’s impossible for her to ignore.
Your wife is on a journey with the winning post in sight, so naturally she doesn’t want to give up the jab. It’d be easy to think your wife is looking for pastures new as she enters a new phase of her life with a new body. But this would be a mistake.
I understand your anxiety about her not fancying you any more, but please don’t become depressed. There are two sound reasons for you not to do this. The first is it’s not good for your health to fall into the depths of despair. But it’s also not good for your relationship because it could make you less attractive to your wife.
May I make a suggestion? Why don’t you buy your wife some beautiful lingerie and ask her if you could help her put it on. This will naturally lead you both into an intimate situation.
I’m sure your wife wouldn’t reject such a thoughtful gift given by a loving, caring husband. It might be all she needs to reawaken her sex drive, and who knows what could flow from this.
If you have a problem for Dr Miriam, please email askdrmiriam@saga.co.uk. All emails are treated in confidence.
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