I can't be bothered with sexy underwear - but I know my husband is disappointed

Dr Miriam Stoppard on the downside of ditching sexy for comfy underwear

I don’t think you’re being mean but that’s not really the point. It would be a shame if your underwear was allowed to drive a wedge between you and your husband. Plus, he might not be thinking the thoughts you’ve attributed to him.

As we approach 70 most people are a bit saggy and I’m sure your husband doesn’t have the body of a 30-year-old. I think a candid chat between you wouldn’t go amiss. If, for instance, you were to tell your husband why you’ve changed your underwear from decorative to plain he’d probably understand.

If, on the other hand, you keep him in the dark it might look as if you’re dismissing the possibility of sex and he’s feeling rejected.

I’m inclined to ask you if your husband has changed the sort of underwear he wears. Has he gone, for instance, from tight briefs to loose-fitting boxers?

He almost certainly has and that’s the opportunity to start up a conversation. You’re treating this as though it were a one-sided problem. It’s not. It’s one that’s shared by both of you.

So, you could start off by asking your husband his reasons for wearing comfortable underwear now as opposed to the sexier garments he wore when he was younger. Having opened up the topic you can then expound on why you have gone for comfort over prettiness. In an exchange of views, you’ll arrive at the same place.

Pretty underwear can be comfortable and inexpensive. Think Marks & Spencer. There’s a huge variety of knickers and bras available at M&S in numerous designs that are both pretty and comfortable. There are also styles that are seamless and ultra comfortable which are from Uniqlo.

I have a suggestion to make – why don’t you take your husband to your local M&S and you choose your underwear together? It could be fun.

You could do a reccy of the lingerie department first, decide on a few styles that you like and when you and your husband visit the store steer him to the styles that appeal to you and get his reaction.

He may be embarrassed by this exposure to women’s underwear, but it would be a really good way of opening up the topic, airing your views and solving your predicament.

If this is a no-go, why don’t you go online together and browse through the M&S offerings?