“We found love on a Saga cruise”
Romance blossomed for a pair of unsuspecting passengers aboard Saga’s Spirit of Adventure.
.jpg?la=en&h=493&w=1232&hash=CE9DFCA65A1917A217BB3EF9180BD723)
Romance blossomed for a pair of unsuspecting passengers aboard Saga’s Spirit of Adventure.
When Pat Swain and Barry Mays joined a cruise on the Spirit of Adventure in October 2023, neither of them was expecting to find love.
Both widowed, they were simply looking for winter sunshine and friendly company. But, unexpectedly, they found each other.
Two years on, they are engaged to be married.
“I had no conception of meeting anyone ever again, and then I met this lovely man,” says Pat, 80, who has been widowed twice, aged 39 and 75.
She met Barry — who lost his own wife three years ago – at the solo traveller evenings. Pat was sitting with a group of women when he approached.
“There wasn’t much room for me,” says Barry, 72. “But Pat said, ‘Oh, come and sit here, I’ll make room for you.’ After that, I always looked to see if there was room to sit next to her. And she remembered my name, which really impressed me.”
Towards the end of the cruise, Barry invited Pat to dinner –they were inseparable for the final four days of the two-week trip.
“He was so kind,” says Pat, who was a private physiotherapist for 21 years.
When they reached Lisbon, she pulled a muscle leaping out of bed. “I could hardly walk, let alone go ashore,” she says. “It’s lucky I had my stick with me.’
That evening, she met up with Barry. “Would you hold my hand while I’m walking along the deck?” she asked. “I’m a bit unsteady.”
Together, they went to quizzes, lectures, evening shows. “We giggled our way through the rest of the cruise,” says Barry, who worked in telecommunications before retiring at 60.
“We’ve got the same sense of humour, which no one else probably understands.”
On the final morning, they swapped addresses and phone numbers, and agreed to meet up in Oxford, about halfway between Pat’s home in Hampshire and Barry’s in Leicestershire. He promised to give her a ring when he got home. “I thought, ‘Oh yes, I’ve heard that before,’” says Pat.
.jpg?sc=max&mw=800&h=450&la=en&h=576&w=823&hash=F0E1258555E4F174B8D7CB7981F2855A)
But Barry stayed true to his word, calling her within an hour of getting in. Regular phone calls then became three-hour journeys up and down the motorway to visit each other. And they made it to Oxford for that weekend away too.
“We were tourists, really, wandering around the colleges,” says Barry. “It was lovely.”
They continued to see each other every three or four weeks, then more frequently, until Pat came to stay for six weeks. In August 2025, Barry said: “I think you ought to just stay.”
On holiday in Italy in September, they got engaged, two days before Pat’s 80th birthday, while enjoying an after-dinner drink. Both of their families are supportive.
“We were going to Scotland to visit my daughter,” says Pat, who is originally from Aberdeen. “We spent the night at Gretna Green, because it’s a long drive. When we arrived, my daughter said: ‘Well, are you married?’ We weren’t even engaged!”
Pat’s Hampshire home is up for sale, and wedding planning is on hold while they sell the house. They’d like a quiet ceremony, but with Pat’s three children and ten grandchildren, and Barry’s three siblings, they’re not sure if they’ll be able to keep it that small.
“I’ve never experienced anything quite like this,” says Pat. “At my ripe old age, I think, ‘Good grief, I’ve got this lovely toy boy beside me!’”
“When you are widowed, you accept your lot,” says Barry. “Both of us were quite happy just to trundle on. We weren’t expecting to meet anybody. It came as a shock to us both. You never know what’s around the corner.”
If you are considering going solo on a cruise, Saga’s sociable, smaller-sized ships are the ideal choice.
There’s a big selection of single cabins (book early as these are so popular), a wide range of activities to join and you'll be invited to a “singles mingle” party and lunch to meet other solo guests.
[Hero image credit: Pat Swain and Barry Mays]
Including exclusive savings for Saga Magazine subscribers, and a special discount of up to 10% when you book two or more cruises back-to-back.
Including exclusive savings for Saga Magazine subscribers, and up to 25% off selected cruises.
.jpg?la=en&h=549&w=823&hash=85077D343B0A5A78958C76A24A1B44E8)
Deborah Chambers was left feeling shaken and low by her midlife divorce. One day she embraced her silver hair - and a new world of opportunities opened up.
The joy of a first grandchild can also create new challenges. We've got the best advice on how to navigate becoming a first-time grandparent.
Dr Miriam Stoppard tells a woman whose new relationship lacks physical fire to allow time for the spark to build up into a blaze.
The power of age gap friendships - we share the benefits and how to make them.
.jpg?la=en&h=576&w=823&hash=4516D8557DC47B1E21444166FFB91605)
As a growing movement tries to address the fact that one in five men say they have no close friends, we explore the roots of male loneliness and find out what we can all do to help.
