We dread seeing our boozy friends - what should we say to them?

We have friends we’ve known for 40 years and love dearly. They’ve always been big drinkers (many a Sunday afternoon has been spent propping up the bar in our village pub).

However, it’s just not as fun as it once was. My wife and I are scaling back on the booze – neither of us is getting any younger and the hangovers were lasting days not hours.

But they’re still going full throttle. He, in particular, can easily polish off two bottles of wine in a sitting and – maybe because I’m no longer matching him – I don’t find his anecdotes as entertaining as I did.

We now dread them coming round and they have suggested another joint autumn holiday, which frankly doesn’t appeal.

I don’t know how honest we should be with them. I don’t want to be preachy and I don’t want to hurt their feelings.

Saga Magazine agony aunt Anne Robinson | Alun Callender — Image credit: Alun Callender

Anne Robinson on what to do about boozy friends

I don’t drink so I know how exhausting it is to be in the company of those who have long since stopped being interesting. In my case I am vigilant; I warn people who invite me for drinks or supper that I am not much use after 10pm. By telling them in advance I hope it stops anyone thinking I’m not enjoying myself.

You are dealing with old friends who now drink far more than you and your wife. I recommend a certain amount of blunt honesty. In other words, pull the plaster off in one go and avoid making one lame excuse after another.

Start with the holiday and say that you’re both trying very hard to minimise your drinking. You’ve discovered that while there are heaps of health benefits, there is the drawback of not being great company by the end of a long evening when everyone else is a bottle ahead.

For this reason, you can explain, you plan to take an almost alcohol-free autumn holiday for just the two of you – a holiday you know wouldn’t suit them! Explain that better eating and less booze will hopefully lead to a longer life.

As far as their invitations go to join them for an evening, I would rely on almost the same excuse about cutting back on alcohol and apologising in advance for leaving by, say, 10pm.

I cannot guarantee your friends’ reaction but at least you will have dealt as honestly as you can with a very knotty problem.