If I give my granddaughter money, I'm worried she will fritter it away
Anne Robinson advises a grandmother who's worried that if she gives money to her 18-year-old granddaughter it will be wasted.
Anne Robinson advises a grandmother who's worried that if she gives money to her 18-year-old granddaughter it will be wasted.
I gave my first grandson £10,000 when he turned 18 three years ago. I didn’t specify what it was for, but I had in my mind it would pay for a car, help him through university or perhaps start a flat deposit fund. He tells me he has invested it.
His younger sister is about to turn 18 but is nowhere near as sensible – their mother (my daughter-in-law) joked that she’d probably spend it on cosmetic surgery and hair straighteners, which I didn’t find very amusing.
I discussed with my daughter-in-law the idea of putting the sum into a trust, or waiting until my granddaughter turned 21, because I don’t want it frittered away, but she felt strongly that I had to treat them both equally.
I haven’t asked my son because he always agrees with his wife, who is very opinionated. What should I do?
Dear Generous Granny, that’s quite a whack to give an 18-year-old. You thought he might spend it on a car, or that it might help him through university or start a deposit fund for a flat. He says he's invested it, but we don't know how or on what. Has he sought professional advice and bought shares?
Or maybe, just maybe, he’s actually used it having a good time in nightclubs and pubs, buying an Arsenal season ticket and dating completely unsuitable, gorgeous women. Any of these he's perfectly entitled to do, as you gave him the money with no conditions attached. Doubtless at some time in the future, when £10,000 could solve a major problem, he may reflect on his investment. Will it be there to help him out? Or will he regret blowing it? Either way, it'll teach him a lesson.
As for your granddaughter: I apologise for siding with her mother, who's clearly a daughter-in-law who comes into the Exocet missile category, but she is correct. You cannot change the terms on which you gave the money to your grandson. It’s hard to quantify the grief this might cause.
Your granddaughter is 100% allowed to expect equal treatment. Even if the money you give her goes towards straightening her hair or straightening her face.
[Hero image credit: Emanuel Wiemans]
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