After six months on a weight-loss drug, our columnist weighs up the pros and cons of shedding more than three stone in weight.
Dame Barbara Cartland told me, many years ago, as I was approaching my 40th birthday: "My dear, after 40, a woman has to choose between her face and her figure. My advice is keep a lovely, plump pretty face and stay sitting down".
Lady Antonia Fraser said much the same; French film star Catherine Deneuve placed the advice ten years earlier and was a little blunter: "A 30-year-old woman must choose between her bottom and her face" – derrière and visage.
Until now, I’ve taken Dame Barbara’s advice, retaining rosy, relatively unlined plumptitude and not worrying about my backside. Then came Mounjaro on the advice of my physiotherapist. I’d put on 4st after I damaged my spine last year. – I needed to lose it and get back to a healthier 12st. Weekly injections started six months ago, ordered from a high street chemist at not inconsiderable cost.
The weight began to fall off – already 3 1/2st has gone and I’m moving better. But what of the face?
When the new weight-loss drugs burst onto the scene, it was Ozempic that became the most talked about. With its familiarity and reported popularity in Hollywood, we began to hear about "Ozempic face" as young women started to look pinched and drawn as the weight fell from them.
My physio recommended Mounjaro, which has a slightly different chemical make-up from Ozempic or Wegovy, and research has shown it not only works well for weight loss but also eases inflammation. The physio thought it would help my pain. It does, but, oh dear, the face.
No one has given advice about the face versus the posterior for 75-year-old women but I can tell you, what was a much admired, relatively unlined face with my precious plumptitude is no more. I’d never rushed to the mirror first thing in the morning to check on the face; now I do.
I guessed my face had changed considerably when everyone I met greeted me with, "Blimey, you’ve lost a lot of weight". I’m now very aware no one will call me chubby chops as they used to. It’s starting to look a bit pinched and there’s no doubt the wrinkles have found their way to my skin. I had never used anti-ageing products; now I slather them on morning, noon and night.
Other than my worries about wrinkles, I’ve found the drug wonderful, with no side effects (unlike when I briefly tried Ozempic) – no pain, no constipation, no diarrhoea. Most noticeable is the silencing of "food noise". I used to think about food all the time and would hear the call of a delicious chocolate brownie. I no longer hear the seductive voice of treats – and what’s most extraordinary, I don’t miss them.
I wake up in the morning, make two lattes and force myself to eat a portion of porridge. Lunch is a vegetarian salad with as good a range of greens and veg as I can muster. I buy a ready roasted chicken and it lasts me most of the week. A leg or a bit of breast with sauerkraut and green salad does me for dinner. I don’t really want it, but I know my body needs protein. It frees me from the job I’ve most disliked all my life – cooking.
One of the occupations I’ve most enjoyed, going to dinner in a lovely restaurant with my friend Sally, has changed immeasurably.
I don’t eat anything all day long, hoping I’ll feel hungry when I get there.
Last week, in our favourite restaurant, we both ordered the lentil soup. She ate all of hers, I managed half my bowl. I ordered my favourite lemon chicken, ate half the portion, a few green beans and three chips. There was a time I’d eat a whole bowl. No more. I enjoy food when I eat but can only manage small portions.
Mounjaro has made me very happy. For the first time ever, this dieting is neither difficult nor painful. I can go to a restaurant, order delicious food, eat half of it and have no wine as I don’t want it. The bills are much cheaper – a contribution, I guess, to the drug’s cost.
On the face versus derrière question, I’m allowing my age and the purpose of my weight loss to ease my concerns about the inevitability of Mounjaro face. You can’t lose weight quickly without it showing in the face.
I shall continue to smother myself in anti-ageing moisturiser, put collagen in my coffee, smile a lot and remember I’m doing this for greater and safer mobility. If I were coming up to 40 now, there’d be no denying myself sweet treats for plumping up the cheeks – and I’d be sitting down a lot.
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