Dilemma: I'm dating a very clingy woman

Jo Brand / 05 January 2018

A reader has become irritated by his clingy new girlfriend and writes to Saga Magazine's agony aunt Jo Brand for advice.

Dilemma: my girlfriend is too clingy

I recently met a divorced lady and she has fallen in love with me, which is great. However, she phones and texts all day, telling me how much she loves me and asking what I’m doing.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but it’s beginning to irritate me.

Jo Brand's advice

At least you have shown compassion and empathy in writing in. Many men I know are totally unable to express these sorts of feelings to anyone. I have a number of female friends who have just been shut down by a man with absolutely no explanation.

Now you’ve just got to go a step further and tell her in as sympathetic a way as possible. First, think hard about what you actually want. If she steps back a bit, would you still want to see her? Or do you really want to finish the relationship?

If you intend to continue seeing her, I would take her for dinner and say gently what you’ve said here. Lay your cards on the table and be honest: you are not interested in marriage, but would like to meet for walks, cinema , wrestling…whatever your thing is, in a relaxed and light-hearted way.

If you don’t want to see her any more, please tell her to her face. There may be a bad reaction, but at least you’ve been honourable.

Good luck!

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