Anne Robinson on how to deal with older men who won't stop talking
Our agony aunt says women should stop being polite and start asking awkward questions to boring men.
Image caption: Alun Callender
Our agony aunt says women should stop being polite and start asking awkward questions to boring men.
I was widowed ten years ago and have only recently started what my teenage granddaughter calls dating, although it’s more like ‘companioning’ at this point. However, I’ve found both men I’ve met so far boring (and boorish).
They talk endlessly about themselves, don’t ask about my life and seem mostly interested in finding someone to look after them.
Is this a generational thing? It’s put me off, I have to say.
If I could have £100 for every time a girlfriend reports that at a recent dinner, such was her boredom at sitting next to a man who sounded like a non-stop Tannoy announcement that she very nearly started eating her own fingers, I could retire to Malibu and take George Clooney with me.
I did at one time think this problem existed mainly in the Cotswolds, where I live. But no.
Sadly for women, the encounters you have experienced are available nationwide. Namely, the older male who continues to believe that everything he does or says is fascinating.
My own solution, I agree, is not for the faint-hearted, but here goes: Last year at a supper party, I realised I was still listening to the life and times of the spare man next to me and we were now halfway through the main course. At this point, a little bit of me went mad.
Thus, I turned full on to my tormentor and said, “If we are going to continue to talk exclusively about you, might I now ask some questions that interest me?”
“Of course,” he said.
“Well,” I said, “a while ago, I happened to be with an old friend who told me that unexpectedly she had received a text from you saying you had changed your mind about having a relationship and didn’t wish to see her again. Could you perhaps explain why you did that?”
He was so shocked he immediately shared his side of the story. (He later told our host that sitting next to me was one of the most terrifying evenings of his life.)
Admittedly, I am more practised than most women at asking awkward questions. But it meant I had a far more satisfying rest of the night.
In 2025, I firmly believe women should stop being polite to delusional males and begin to harness their exceptional power not hide it. Bright, interesting women have been doing this for too long.
Mercifully, there are women of a younger generation who are beginning to challenge the status quo.
In your case, I think you will need to be prepared to kiss quite a few frogs before a prince lands on your lap.
In the meantime, you can have merriment when you find yourself spending an evening with a Mr Highly Unsuitable. What’s to lose?
Then, when you are least expecting it, as F Scott Fitzgerald or maybe Johnny Depp once said, a pearl will appear in your bouillabaisse.
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