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Dilemma: my wife is addicted to her phone

Jo Brand / 01 November 2016 ( 05 September 2019 )

A reader writes to agony aunt Jo Brand to find out what he should do about his phone-obsessed wife.

Woman on phone
A reader is frustrated that his wife is constantly fiddling with her phone

Dilemma: my wife is always on her phone

My wife seems addicted to her phone and it’s really getting in the way of our home life. 

I’d love to sit and chat like we used to over a glass of wine or watch a bit of TV together but it she is always on a screen, ‘elsewhere’ and disconnected from our life. Facebook, phone games… But if I mention it she gets angry. I feel I’ve lost her.

Reconnecting with your partner

Jo Brand's advice

Your wife sounds like an errant teenager to me! For it is that group who tend to be the ones absorbed for twenty three hours a day firing off endless selfies to anyone who will look, conducting online conversations about nothing very much and trying to discover what sort of fungal cream Justin Bieber is using for his athlete’s foot.

It seems so churlish to have a real live human right there and yet still need to escape frequently into a world of other contacts.

And that’s where we come back to you. Perhaps you need to look at why you are comparing unfavourably to your wife's online chums. How are your conversational skills? Are you sure you’re not constantly availing your wife of the latest golf scores or pushing Gardener’s World’s current innovation for weeding up her nose? 

It becomes hard with many couples the longer they have been together, to continue to find common ground.

Have a chat with your wife, whilst holding her phone above your head so she can’t reach it. (That’s a joke) But, seriously, just ask her! Try and find time for both. Or get on the net yourself.

Companionable silences can be just as reassuring. Good luck.

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