The psychology of saving: why can it be so hard?

We all know the importance of putting a little away each month, yet building a nest egg has become more challenging in recent years due to the cost-of-living pressures brought on by rising bills and daily drains on our finances. It can be even harder if you’re retired and finding your pension isn’t stretching as far as it used to.

1 in 6 adults (16%) across the UK have no savings, according to statistics from Finder. Overall, a quarter of Brits (23%) have £200 or less in savings accounts. Looking at people aged 60 to 78, 14% have no savings at all, though it's a different picture for those age 79-plus, where only 2% have no savings.

While unavoidable costs can often mean it’s not possible to start putting lots of money aside, it might be worth looking at your relationship with money to see if that's making it harder to save.

What’s on this page?

Is your behaviour dictated by the past?
Could you have a shopping addiction?
Does budgeting make you feel anxious?
How to move forward so you can save for the future

Is your behaviour dictated by the past?

Constantly worrying about money or how your next bill will get paid can affect your health and wellbeing, says Kamalyn Kaur, an accredited psychotherapist. This can increase the concern you may be feeling.

Kaur highlights that we’re living in a world full of stressful pressure to meet unrealistic living styles and standards set by social media. “This stress can result in more spending, where people use retail therapy as a coping mechanism,” she says.

The relationship between money and your mindset can be complicated. There could be triggers or deep-rooted issues that may need to be addressed as a first step.

As we grow up, we absorb the lessons we hear around us, to help us develop a sense of who we are. But it can also mean that we internalise ‘old’ messages about money, says Georgina Sturmer, a counsellor and member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP).

So, if our parents struggled in their relationship with money and saving, then this can feed into our own fears and worries, potentially manifesting in obsessive spending or struggles with budgeting.

To help understand these mindsets, start thinking about your relationship with money, says Sturmer. “Figure out if your habits, worries or patterns are really yours, or if it feels like you’ve absorbed them from elsewhere, such as your parents.

“Consider what it might be like to liberate yourself and choose your own, more 'grown-up' relationship with money.”

Could you have a shopping addiction?

Low self-worth can also lead to self-destructive behaviours like excessive spending or retail therapy, says Kaur. The ‘dopamine hit’ of shopping can make it difficult for us to plan and save for the future.

While it’s difficult to put an exact figure on the number of people who suffer with shopping addiction, studies suggest it affects hundreds of thousands of people, if not more, in the UK.

The reasons for this addiction are varied, and according to a survey of those suffering (cited by addiction treatment centre UK Rehab) 37% of respondents have felt guilt or shame after shopping, and 20% have hidden purchases from their families.

To begin to understand a potentially negative shopping habit, Sturmer recommends implementing a spending freeze on non-essential items. Set yourself a cooling-off period – perhaps a week – to reconsider your purchases and protect yourself from any frenzied or irrational buying.

Giving yourself an alternative goal for your money can help alter your motivation – consider something that you might be able to put your cash towards if you weren’t spending it on shopping.

“Think about setting a savings goal to work towards. This will focus your mind and give you something to replace the dopamine hit of shopping,” Sturmer adds.

However, shopping addiction can be severe and difficult to get on top of – if you’re struggling to curb your spending or it’s having a severe impact on your daily life, consider speaking to a specialist who can help you work through the addiction.

A man sat on the sofa, with his head resting on his fist, looking at an open laptop

Does budgeting make you feel anxious?

While the principles of budgeting are straightforward – working out your income and comparing that to how you’re spending each month to see where your money is going – adhering regularly to a spreadsheet or budgeting app can be difficult for some.

If thinking back to your time learning at school – especially maths – evokes negative memories, feeling pressured to take control of your money might trigger some of the same anxieties.

It can lead to burying your head in the sand when it comes to financial planning, or to actively avoid any attempt at budgeting.

A good place to start is by taking small steps, such as checking your bank account regularly – perhaps daily – and looking at all your outgoings (paying particular attention to debt where you’re paying high interest).

From there, you can begin to see areas where you’re spending more than you might expect, giving you greater insight when making spending choices.

If you do have multiple debts that you’re paying off, Simon Trevethick, Head of Communications at debt charity StepChange, suggests paying off priority debts (such as Council Tax, rent or mortgage, or utilities) first before moving onto any other high-interest payments that need to be made.

If you’re struggling with your finances, remember that there is free help available via places such as Citizens Advice, National Debtline or StepChange Debt Charity.

‘Spending would make me feel good’

Jane Hawkes, who turns 50 next month, says she spent half her adult life living beyond her means – racking up thousands of pounds in credit card debts and living on the edge of her overdraft.

Money was tight for Jane growing up and she says her parents were good at budgeting and making ends meet. But Jane went the other way, starting when she was at university and had access to student loans.

She continued borrowing and spending in her 20s. The tipping point was when Jane met her now-husband, who took a more cautious approach to money and liked to know where everything was going.

“I didn’t really have any financial education growing up. It’s not something that’s taught at school and my parents never really explained the concept of saving and spending to me,” she says.

Jane paid down her debts over several years, and by her mid-30s was debt-free. She found it hard to break the impulse spending habit, so implemented time limits before purchases could be made.

If she saw something she liked, she’d wait at least a week before buying – ideally stretching to 30 days – to see if she still wanted it. More often than not, she didn’t.

“For me, it was important to identify spending triggers. Sometimes it depended on my mood – spending money would make me feel good. I still really try to avoid impulse purchases,” says Jane, who blogs about her money journey at ladyjaney.co.uk.

Jane does have a credit card, but makes sure she pays it off each month, and now she also has a budgeting spreadsheet where she monitors all her incomings and outgoings.

“I’m now really into saving money. My mindset has completely changed. I get a buzz out of seeing my money grow and the interest I am earning.”

How to move forward so you can save for the future

Fears or deep-rooted money beliefs can easily set you back from getting finances under control.

If you can, beginning with the basics of budgeting and seeing how your money is flowing in and out of your accounts each month is the simplest way to work out if you can start saving more effectively. You could also try a few from our list of 52 easy money-saving tips.

While for some it may be a case of overcoming entrenched habits to see the benefits of saving, for others it may be more deep-rooted. If you worry a lot about making ‘incorrect’ financial decisions, then speaking to a regulated financial expert can help you make plans that will help your situation.

However, if you’re struggling mentally with money, there are resources to help – for instance, the NHS has a page on Money Worries and Mental Health, or mental health charity Mind also has some guidance on the positive steps to take.

You may want to seek professional help from a therapist who can help you build healthier habits around money.

If you’re considering this route, check whether they are a member of a professional organisation such as the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP) or the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP).