So the last of the relatives departed on Saturday and I've more or less got back to equilibrium. Well, my head's stopped spinning (do guests do that to anyone else or is it just me?)
And now I've not got to worry about cooking, cleaning, chatting, trying to be nice (hard!), taking people out and entertaining a 12-year old in an area pretty devoid of exciting 12-year-old type things to do, I've got to thinking - about losing weight.
After the Well Woman nurse told me I ought to lose half a stone, I was too busy to do much about it. But in the past days I've been thinking about it. Thinking a lot. And the trouble is, thinking about it makes me eat more. Every morning I wake up and think “Right! Brand new day. Not going to eat much today. Certainly nothing sweet. Definitely cut right back on the carbs. Won't have any wine tonight. Eat tons of veggies and yogurt and a bit of lean chicken and some blueberries. All will be fine.”
And then almost before I can get in the kitchen and start preparing breakfast, I'm having a good idea. “I know! Instead of actual blueberries and some yogurt, I'll finish up that blueberry cheesecake I made last week for my son's partner who didn't want it as she's on a diet. There's only a bit left, it needs eating up, pity to waste it, lovely it was.” I know it's lovely as I am the only one who has eaten it. I've had people here to stay for ten days in all and not one of them wanted any cheesecake.
So in the mouth it goes. I redeem myself at lunchtime with a huge tomato salad (glut from greenhouse) with a couple of rye crispbreads and a smattering of goat's cheese. But then blow it because I'm hunting in the larder for some black pepper when I spy a plastic box containing the remains of the Co-op chocolate brownies bought for my grand-daughter. Being a tad hungry because of the huge tomato salad and not enough protein, in my mouth they go, no problem.
And that's it for another day. By teatime I'm finishing off the pack of digestive bisuits I've just found behind the tea caddy, the ones I bought to make the cheesecake base.
And I now need to lose 8lbs, or probably even 10 lbs, (not weighing myself though) and I've got to go through this whole 'let's start the diet' procedure again tomorrow.
I'm trying to think back to when I started the Saga diet challenge circa 2011. I'm sure it wasn't such a problem then. I just woke up, got on with it and began losing (albeit slowly). Perhaps it's because half a stone or so really isn't that important. No-one ever died of being half a stone overweight. So I've got to convince myself if I just leave it, all the rest will creep back on and by January I'll be 12 stone again.
My first step has got to be purging the house of off-limits items. I know there is still a raspberry and almond cake, four croissants, two lots of ice cream and a pack of black pudding in the freezer, all bought for the relative tribes and uneaten though I swear last time they came these were their favourites. Can I bear to throw them away?
Yes I can – surely it's better to bin than binge? It's refuse collection day tomorrow so they're going in. Except the black pudding. Well, I've just read that saturated fat is now good for you (according to Dr Michael Mosley, he of the Fast Diet and Fast Exercise, and he who must be obeyed or at least that what the BBC seems to think). So it can stay. And it can be eaten with a few nice delicate scallops on top and a little bit of rocket and a drizzle of something suitable over the top.
And when there really is nothing left in the house of a rotund-inducing nature, the only other thing I think I need is a motivation. I think it could be in the form of the autumn/winter clothes I bought a couple of years ago after losing 22lbs. I'm going to try them on and if they don't fit – that will be it. With the pressure off in the office and no more guests in the offing, I've really no excuse. Oh yes, Husband and I are going away for a short break next week....but it's okay. It's a walking break.
Ate last night:
Monkfish, bacon, mushroom and pepper kebab with home made tomato chilli sauce and a bit of white rice. Forgot to photograph it. It's a wonder I made anything at all, I'm all over cooking, all cooked out, at the moment. Give me a week and everything will be fine.
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