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Five ways to deal with rejection

08 September 2015

It’s an unfortunate reality that rejection goes hand in hand with dating. Here are five tips to deal with rejection and turn it into something positive.

Happy woman by herself
Rejection can be difficult to deal with, so it is important to look for the positives so you can move on and grow as an individual

It’s an unfortunate reality that rejection and disappointment go hand in hand with dating, whether it is people you meet in the flesh or through internet dating. But far from being a reason to despair and give up, rejection is also a great opportunity to learn, strengthen your resolve and continue to get out there and experience new things. 

Let’s take a look at how to deal with rejection and how to turn it into something positive.

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Don’t take rejection personally

When you’re emotionally attached it can be heartbreaking when it’s not reciprocated. But rather than worrying about all the things you might have done wrong, try to remember that it’s the other person who is quite possibly to blame. Maybe they weren’t ready for a relationship and meeting you just proved it. 

Maybe they’re busy, or see a new set of complications they weren’t aware of before. Life is short and you’re not a mind reader, so try not to dwell on it too much and move on.

Try to see the bigger picture

Rejection can make us doubt ourselves – not to mention the stress and pain. But sometimes, a failed relationship or a missed encounter can pave the way for something even better. Maybe you dodged a bullet. 

Maybe the distress you feel now at being rejected would only have been intensified if you were rejected by the same person further down the line. The universe is probably storing up something wonderful that will make all this seem worthwhile – you just don’t know what it is yet.

See it as an opportunity to grow

We can all think of something about ourselves we’d like to change on our path towards becoming the best versions of ourselves. Facing up to our ego and admitting our faults can be healing and therapeutic and can put us back on track when it comes to finding the perfect partner.

Switch up your next dating adventure

If you’ve experienced regular rejection, dating expert Carol Dix advises: “Try something new. Think beyond the usual boxes or checklists. If you’re not meeting people who excite you, then put yourself in totally new surroundings... Try a singles holiday, do work for a charity or voluntary group, maybe go abroad to help out in a poorer country.” 

Sometimes, doing something a little different will invite a new outlook on a situation, lift the pressure you’ve been putting on yourself and others, and maybe even change things in your love life for the better.

Know that you’re not the one who’s missing out

When you’re rejected, you’re not the one missing out. You still get to spend time with your fabulous self and so does someone more worthy of your attention. Says Carol Dix: “Some six million single people signed up for a form of dating service this past year in the UK. That figure nearly doubled from the previous year. Even better news, the 50+ group is the fastest growing sector.” There are so many more people out there that you will now get to meet, simply because your time has been freed up. Who’s the lucky one now?

For more information about online dating over 50, read our guide to getting back into the dating game, and advice for how to win at online dating.

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The opinions expressed are those of the author and are not held by Saga unless specifically stated. The material is for general information only and does not constitute investment, tax, legal, medical or other form of advice. You should not rely on this information to make (or refrain from making) any decisions. Always obtain independent, professional advice for your own particular situation.

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