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Dilemma: I want to play golf, but my wife wants to travel

Katharine Whitehorn / 13 September 2016 ( 05 September 2019 )

A retired couple are finding they want different things from their new lives.

Woman on holiday alone
A reader is enjoying his quiet retirement, but his wife wants to see the world

Dilemma: we want different things from retirement

When I was working I used to go abroad several times a year for conferences and such and my wife enjoyed coming with me. 

Now I’m retired I’m happy enough with golf and working on my allotment, so I keep myself busy and enjoy the slower pace of life. 

My wife, however, greatly misses our foreign trips and had expected to see more of the world now that we are both retired – though I explained that travelling for work and going on an expensive holiday are very different things.

Katharine Whitehorn's advice

I can’t remember who said - about retirement - that ‘he has a new life but she’s just got half an old one’ but it sounds a bit like that. 

If you’re happy at home and definitely can't be convinced to travel, then surely the answer is to encourage your wife to travel either on her own or with a friend – there are many travel companies that organise short breaks and guided tours. She may appreciate you even more when she gets home.

Discover a selection of holidays designed specifically for solo travellers. Find out more here

Saga readers say...

'A sensible couple will find a resort with good courses. Hubby plays golf, partner does her girlie things - simps.' Ann, via Facebook

'Enjoy your own space does you good and makes youu appreciate each other more.' Jill, via Facebook

'Travel the world and play golf. It is called compromise.' Steve, via Facebook

'If both are generally happy with their lives together, there is nothing wrong with them doing their own thing occasionally. Just because they are married doesn't mean that they are joined at the hip. Relationships are all about compromise. If he wants to just relax and stay at home and play golf, then that's fine. There are lots of independent travel companies who cater for people travelling alone these days.' Ann, via Facebook

'Find places with interest for the wife and great golf courses for hubby. Although prob hubby wants to play great courses with his golf buddies. I know mine does. I do my own thing while he's away. Win win.' Janet, via Facebook


The opinions expressed are those of the author and are not held by Saga unless specifically stated. The material is for general information only and does not constitute investment, tax, legal, medical or other form of advice. You should not rely on this information to make (or refrain from making) any decisions. Always obtain independent, professional advice for your own particular situation.