TV review: Rock Till We Drop

Rock Till We Drop 1/4, Monday 28th February, 9pm, BBC Two

As my 50th birthday looms into view later this year, I am coming to the conclusion that I may have to abandon my dreams of being a professional footballer. Aside from not being terribly good at football, I have two knackered knees, a recurrent back problem, and the body of a 49-year-old man with a fondness for a tipple and a burger.

Besides, if you haven’t made it in your chosen field by your 20s or 30s, you’re never going to. Time to put those dreams away in a box up in the attic and nourish oneself on memories and might-have-beens.

Poppycock.

It is never too late to go after what you want. My favourite ever Desert Island Discs was about an extraordinary fighter pilot called Eric ‘Winkle’ Brown who, well into his 90s, had a new girlfriend and had just bought himself a sports car. (It’s really well worth a listen, seek it out on the BBC archives). He wasn’t intent on going gently into that good night, but was instead seizing every moment and sucking the marrow out of life.

And that is precisely what this new four-part series on BBC Two is about. Pursuing one’s dreams. Making the most of opportunities. Not letting something as trifling and irrelevant as age get in the way of life.

The show’s concept is simple enough. Martin Kemp, formerly of Spandau Ballet and latterly of EastEnders, and Lady Leshurr, who I’m sure you all know is a celebrated grime artist, are each putting together a rock band to perform on the main stage at the Isle of Wight festival in front of 50,000 fans. The only proviso? All of the band members must be over the age of 64.

Think 64 is too old to be a rocker? The Rolling Stones are surely just a whisker away from getting a telegram from the Queen, no?

So, the word is put out over the airwaves. Lady Leshurr gives it a mention on her show on Radio 1 Extra, which I’m not sure entirely fits the demographic, but there you go. And the video auditions start to pile up.

Soon, the pair are holding auditions in The Spice of Life, a pub I frequented in my youth on Cambridge Circus in London. About 25 years ago I left a jacket there (I told you I was fond of a tipple) but despite looking for it on the screen while watching this programme, it seems to have been removed. Damn.

Anyway, what ensues is charming and utterly inspirational. The standard of talent on display is outstanding, and the energy, verve and passion each auditionee possesses is luminous. The characters are diverse and fascinating. There is an American former crack user who spent time in prison, and a drummer who has been wheelchair bound since contracting polio at 18 months. Not to mention a 95-year-old who spent 70 years drumming in a dance band until he retired aged 87.

Many of them had brushes with stardom, only to see it snatched away by circumstance. One played a gig with Tina Turner, another turned her back on the industry as a fledgling artist after her manager propositioned her. All of them have gone on to have full lives, but perhaps tinged with a slight sense of those dread two words… “What if…?”

But now, at last, some of them will get an answer to their question, as the gig of a lifetime draws near. This series will follow their journey to what one suspects will be a triumphant, glorious finale.

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The Paralympic Winter Games, 4-13 March, Channel 4

Speaking of inspirational stories and dreams coming true, welcome to the Paralympic Winter Games, and what promises to be one of the most uplifting sporting experiences of the year.

Taking part in any Olympic event is exhausting. I mean, I was just watching the women’s Curling final last week, and I was absolutely shattered by the end of it. Mind you, it did go on until 4am, a time I last saw when my children were small and insisting on pooing and getting hungry in the middle of the night.

Channel 4’s coverage of Paralympic sport has been an eloquent expression of the value of Public Service Broadcasting for over a decade now, and this year, they are raising the bar once again, with the first all-disabled presenting team for a world class sporting event anywhere in the world. The broadcaster will screen over 80 hours of live action from Beijing, with more being live-streamed on its YouTube platform.

And unlike the BBC’s recent Olympic coverage, the presenters will be on the ground in Beijing, as opposed to in a TV studio in Media City, Salford. It shows just how seriously Channel 4 is taking its commitment to para-sport.

Annoyingly, China still insists on having its daytime when we’re all asleep, so most of the action will take place when we’re all dreaming of our own sporting glories. Or, as I did the other night, having a vivid dream about appearing in a disastrous production of Cats.

But fear not, Channel 4 is starting each day with an hour-long breakfast show, hosted by former rugby player Ed Jackson and Olympic triathlon champion Lauren Steadman, which will show the best of the overnight action. And if you’re not an early bird, Ade Adepitan will host a half-hour highlights show every night at 7:30pm (times vary at weekends). Arthur Williams will put in a serious shift by covering the live action each night, running from 1am to 8am.

The sports being contested are alpine skiing, Nordic skiing, snowboarding, ice hockey and wheelchair curling, with each sport hosting a number of disciplines, and each discipline divided into different events depending on the nature of athletes’ disability. In the skiing, for example, each discipline has an event for the visually impaired, standing skiers and seated skiers. There are 78 events in total.

So what of the British medal chances? It’s fair to say, in spite of the Curling success, Team GB’s performance at the Olympics was somewhat underwhelming, but their Paralympic counterparts are targeting 5-9 medals at the Games, and there is some cause for optimism.

Menna Fitzpatrick, the visually impaired skier who won a gold, silver and bronze in Pyeongchang in 2018, recently won gold at January’s World Championships in the slalom, and silver in the super combined. Just pipping her in the latter was Millie Knight, who added to her gold medal with a bronze in the super-G. In the same championships, visually-impaired skier Neil Simpson and his guide, brother Andrew, won silver in the super-combined. And 42-year-old Shona Brownlee won a silver in the super-G and a bronze in the giant slalom. James Barnes-Miller, meanwhile, won bronze in the snowboard cross.

And, of course, there is always the curling. Great Britain are ranked 4th in the world, and will doubtless take inspiration from Eve Muirhead and her team after their stunning success last week.

The whole thing gets underway at 11:30am on Friday morning (4th March) with Ade Adepitan presenting coverage of the Opening Ceremony live from the Bird’s Nest stadium in Beijing. It should be a fascinating nine days of top-class sport.

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The best… and the rest:

Sunday 27th February

Fantastic Beasts: A Natural History, 7pm, BBC One: Stephen Fry presents this documentary looking at the mysteries of some mythological creatures, and examining their real-world relatives.

Peaky Blinders 1/6, 9pm, BBC One: The hugely acclaimed drama about a Birmingham criminal family between the wars returns for its sixth and final series. It promises to go out with a bang.

Monday 28th February

Emergency 1/4, 9pm, Channel 4: Glory be! Yet another documentary series following emergency crews and hospital teams working on the front line of the NHS. This series, showing over the next four nights, features the work of the London major Trauma System, a network of ambulances, paramedics and hospitals dealing with the most serious emergency cases.

Tuesday 1st March

Live FA Cup Football, 6:45pm on ITV, 7:30pm on BBC One: Commiserations to the football haters out there, as this week features no fewer that five prime time matches split across ITV and BBC One. Tonight, in what may be a broadcasting first, the channels are showing overlapping matches, with ITV featuring Peterborough United v Manchester City, and BBC One showing Middlesbrough v Spurs. Tomorrow, BBC one has Luton v Chelsea, and ITV has Liverpool v Norwich, while on Thursday, ITV will feature Everton v Boreham Wood. You’ve been warned.

The Holiday 1/4, 9pm, Channel 5: Jill Halfpenny stars in this drama, stripped over the next four nights, about four families gathering for a dream holiday that ends up being more of a nightmare, culminating in a brutal murder.

Wednesday 2nd March

Your Body Uncovered with Kate Garraway 1/6, 8pm, BBC Two: Garraway and Dr Guddi Singh meet patients with everyday but deeply problematic medical conditions to help them understand their illness.

Thursday 3rd March

Amol Rajan Interviews Sir Ian McKellen, 9pm, BBC Two: An in-depth chat with the wonderful 82-year-old actor, including his childhood in wartime Lancashire and his decision to publicly announce his sexuality in 1988.

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