Dating after divorce – how soon is too soon?

14 May 2015

Dating after divorce can give you a new lease of life and open doors you thought were closed for good. But how do you know when you’re ready?

Divorce is a time often fraught with anxiety, sadness and even loneliness. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness, so take note of these dos and don’ts to help get back in the dating game.

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DO... ask yourself if you are really ready

If you’ve been thinking about the idea of dating but can’t quite bring yourself to even create a profile, chances are you’re not ready yet. Likewise if you’ve created a profile but still can’t respond to anyone’s invitations to chat or meet up. Don’t force yourself back into the dating game if you don't feel emotionally available. When you’re ready, you’ll know.

DO... it anyway, even if you’re nervous

So you feel ready to date, but the prospect still scares you? Learn to recognise that your fear is coming from a very normal place and it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it anyway. We all get nervous when we’ve been out of the dating game for a while, and more so when we’ve been hurt.

Try taking things slowly. Maybe respond to a few emails from those who interest you and don’t agree to meet up unless you’re comfortable. Facing your fears can be exciting and can make you feel more alive than ever before.

DON’T... chat online for too long before you meet

When you’ve connected with someone via your online dating profile, it can be dangerously easy to build up a false image of them in your head. Over time, you can start to imagine a great chemistry that just doesn’t exist when you meet in person. While it’s good to exchange a few emails, try not to chat for too long before you meet or you might end up disappointed.

DON’T... be afraid to date more than one person at once

It might sound tough, but dating a couple of people at the same time can not only boost your confidence but also help you figure out exactly what you do and don’t want from another relationship. If you want to see other people, be sure to make this clear to anyone you’re dating – especially if you think someone is starting to get serious. Remember, if you don’t connect romantically, you never know when you might make a great friend. Honesty is the best policy.

DO... try to think positively

Dating after divorce can be difficult at times, especially if you’ve been hurt or disappointed. Have faith that there are some great people out there who are more than worth your time and trust. Know in your heart that by thinking positively and visualising your future happiness with someone amazing, you will draw the right person into your life to stay.

Want to know more about dating after divorce? Learn how to win at online dating with our handy guide.

Ready to meet someone new and find love online? Try Saga Dating to meet like-minded singles who share your interests and outlook on life. Saga Dating is a site you can trust - we're members of the Online Dating Association.

The opinions expressed are those of the author and are not held by Saga unless specifically stated.

The material is for general information only and does not constitute investment, tax, legal, medical or other form of advice. You should not rely on this information to make (or refrain from making) any decisions. Always obtain independent, professional advice for your own particular situation.