While each woman will enjoy sex in a different way there are some things guaranteed to give the woman you’re in bed with a great sexual experience.
Avoid her genitals
That may sound like bizarre advice but all too often men zone in on the genital region way too early.
You may hear a woman sing the sexual praises of a man who can pinpoint her clitoris with the tip of his tongue or one who just how to thrust but that won’t be the same for every woman – one thing that will be the same for every woman is that she’d love it if you spent time exploring her body fully, kissing, licking and touching everywhere, so that she is fully aroused when you finally target her vulva and clitoris.
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Use your voice
Communicating your pleasure while you’re having sex, as well as a sexy, ‘Does that feel good?” or “Do you like that?” will do wonders for her sex experience. It not only gives her a good idea of what moves do it for you (which in itself enhances her own sex experience), it also means she has a way of letting you know when she really loves something you’re doing, or when it’s not really doing it for her.
Don’t be shy when it comes to showering her with compliments as you’re getting down to sex too – her breasts, the scent on her neck, her skin, her lips, her thighs, her waist, the feel of her vagina on your penis and so on. The more confident she feels when naked in bed with you, the sexier she’ll feel… which leads to more pleasure for both of you.
Read our tips for increasing your libido.
One of the main reasons women fail to reach orgasm during sex is because they feel ‘guilty’ for taking too long or for requiring so much effort. So rather than relax and let you take them to orgasm, they stress about taking too long and as a result don’t get to climax at all!
So make it easy for her by giving her no choice but to relax and enjoy it. Tell her that tonight is her night – you won’t orgasm or try to – you will simply spend your time exploring and stimulating her. Give her a full body massage to relax her physically and mentally first, then really take your time exploring her body and finding out what she enjoys most.
Once the pressure to hurry up is off, she may find it easier and quicker to reach orgasm.
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Try this handy position
Most women find it difficult to orgasm during penetrative sex but there’s a way around that – use your hands.
When you’re on top, slide your hand down between you (you’ll need to rest your bodyweight on your other elbow or arm, and angle yourself slightly to one side) and rub her clitoris as you thrust. As the clitoris is above the vaginal opening it sometimes doesn’t get directly stimulated during penetration and your hand can help fix that problem.
This is a great way to aim for a simultaneous orgasm too, which will make for a truly memorable experience.
Read our guide to getting started with sex toys.
Use some lube
While not all women will have problems with dryness, many do and even those that don’t – women in their 20s for example – will enjoy sex far more with lubrication.
Silicone-based lubricants make everything feel more sensuous because what might be uncomfortable rubbing is transformed into deliciously sexy sliding with a simple squeeze of a tube or bottle. Use it on her breasts first (see above regarding avoiding her genitals), and then on her genitals and yours.
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Siski Green is the author of How To Blow Her Mind In Bed