If you’re lonely, you have to pluck up the courage to advertise yourself. It is stressful, but Mr/Ms Right isn’t going to knock on your door out of the blue.
The most difficult aspect is describing yourself (honestly), and specifying your ideal match without going OTT. George Clooney and Beyoncé are taken.
You need a photo, preferably colour. Smile! Do not include pets, kids, friends, exes, relations.
Do not pull what you think is a funny face – it puts people off.
Even if you’re graded as a 100% match for someone, you may get rejected. Brace yourself.
Be realistic: you might not find the love of your life, but you may meet your soulmate, who makes you happy at last.
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Take your time
What advice would I give? Be clear about what your standards are and where your bottom line is. Be realistic. Tread canny.
Go slowly. Enjoy it for what it is.
Treat people well
I am an incurable romantic, I watch dating programmes on TV, and I believe in love. I think anyone who tells you they don’t is deluded. No matter what your life experiences, or age, the idea of love appearing in your life is rather like an emotional mirage. That oasis shimmering on the horizon that you trudge through life in search of.
So in I plunged, awful photograph and all. I think subconsciously I believed if someone liked that photograph then they wouldn’t be too disappointed when they saw me.
Five months on I am happily dating someone, and hopefully he is happily dating me! And the message I suppose is that, yes, online dating is a godsend for anyone who would like to jumpstart their love life at any age.
Just remember to treat people the same online as you would in ‘real’ life and you will be fine. Oh, and good luck!
Put in the effort
I was widowed more than two years ago and do not wish to spend the rest of my life alone.
You do need to put some effort in; if you just sit and wait, you will get hardly any – indeed if any – responses. It’s very different from the 1960s/70s, when you met in pubs or at dances; now I find that dating sites are the only way to meet people.
I have been on different sites, but I like Saga best as you need to input more information, which gives you a bit more knowledge about others before you decide to make contact.
I would say to anyone thinking of trying internet dating, what have you got to lose? If you are lonely and do nothing, you will stay lonely. You may meet new friends as opposed to the man/ woman of your dreams, but you can never have enough friends.
Many widowers start dating too soon because they’re lonely, and don’t allow time to grieve. I do feel sorry for men who have had their future snatched away, but many seem to want to meet
a woman just like their late wife.
And some of the men do not present themselves well in photos – just a smile would make a big difference, chaps!
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